What Women Want
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: A short story loosely based on the movie by the same name starring Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt. I wrote this because I was forced to. It is silly and involves Jason Morgan being able to read the thoughts of most PC women.
1. Prologue

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**Note **– This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character electrocutes himself in the bathroom and discovers that he has unwittingly obtained the ability to hear the thoughts of the women around him. This was posed as a challenge by **Jenna**/**jennabrady **at The Canvas. I was told that I would be writing it, LOL. It won't be too long (not a full-length, fifty-chapter fic or anything) and I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading!

**What Women Want**

**Prologue**

"Jason, hi. Hey. You got a minute?"

He tucked his phone into his pocket and turned. Elizabeth was staring at the top of the stairs, looking down at him hopefully. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and he nodded. "Yeah, sure. What's going on?"

She descended the steps carefully, one hand on the wooden railing. At six months pregnant, she looked undeniably pregnant and her light spring jacket parted over her prominent baby bump. She stood awkwardly by the bench and knotted her fingers together, offering him a small smile.

"I just…wanted to talk to you," she said softly, ducking her head. She cleared her throat but remained silent, and the water gently lapping the docks was the only sound that stretched between them for a good long moment.

"I was out of town for a few days," he told her needlessly, kicking himself as soon as the words came out. There was no need to say it; she already knew.

It was a depressing slip-up. When had they begun feeling so awkwardly around each other? There had been a time when she knew she could tell him anything and now as she stood there, dressed in those baby pink scrubs, scuffing her toe against the wood, telling him that she had something to say, all he heard was silence.

"Yeah, yeah, I figured," Elizabeth smiled kindly. "Business?"

He watched as she scrunched her brows and shook her head. "No – forget I said that. Anyway, I'm…glad you're back."

"How – How are things with Lucky?"

That was the _last _person Jason wanted to talk about, but he heard himself asking anyway. Somehow, their conversations always came back to Lucky and Sam.

"Lucky's fine," she finally answered. "He's…relentless. Follows me everywhere, shows up at work, makes scenes, pesters my friends…"

"He wants you back," Jason replied softly.

She nodded jerkily, unable to meet his gaze. "Yeah. Well." The soft rustle of her clearing her throat yet again. "That's not going to happen. I've already made up my mind. He's not what me, Cameron, or this baby need."

"You sound like you've given it a lot of thought."

Elizabeth nodded, more confidently this time. "Yeah, I have. I'm going to raise my children as a single mother, like I wanted to from the start. Lucky…Lucky has no place in our lives anymore."

"He's this baby's father," Jason reminded her, though it was hardly something she needed to be reminded of. "He's always going to be this baby's father. I'm not pushing you one way or another, but…I don't even need to tell you this. You were a single mother with Cameron when he was a baby. But it gets tough, especially since you'll have two little kids now. It's not easy."

"I'll manage," she replied with a tight smile. "But, anyway, no, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

Jason nodded and cautiously moved toward her. She mirrored his movements when he sat on the old wooden bench. "Okay. What do you need?"

"I don't…need anything," Elizabeth replied carefully. "You've been more than generous already; I don't want anything else. I mean, Cameron's daycare, the Christmas gifts, the-"

"I was happy to do all that for you," Jason reminded her gently. "You're a great person, Elizabeth, and I want to make sure you're taken care of. Don't worry about all those things. And don't ever hesitate to come to me when you need something – even if it's just someone to talk to."

She picked at her nails. "Yeah, you're good at that, huh? You always listen…even if I don't know what I'm talking about."

Something about the way she said it made him laugh. "You make sense to me…most of the time."

This time she joined him. "What are you saying? That this pregnancy is making me crazy?"

He smiled, appreciative of the familiar tone their conversation had taken. "Not one bit."

Elizabeth beamed softly back at him and leaned against the armrest. Both remained silent for a long moment before she gained the courage to speak. "I actually wanted to tell you something. Something that's been…bothering me for some time now. I tried calling you while you were away-"

He nodded. "I got your calls, but I couldn't answer."

She waved away his apology. "It's okay. I only called those two times to make sure you were really gone. I wanted to call you about this, too, but I figured that it would be better to say it in person. Not easier, really, but better."

Jason nodded encouragingly. Lately it seemed that all their conversations started like this. She always showed up at his door or on the bridge or on the docks and she always wanted to tell him something. They'd talk for a few minutes, she'd start with a few vague sentiments, and then something always cut them short.

Sometimes it was someone else literally stumbling onto the scene – Sam, Lucky, Lulu, it didn't matter. Elizabeth always clammed up and insisted that it was nothing they couldn't discuss later, and then she'd make her hasty getaway. Sometimes it was a phone call – usually Sonny or Carly for him, the hospital or Audrey for her. And if it was either of his best friends, Elizabeth would insist that he go see to them. She'd practically shove him out the door. Sometimes, it was just this look she'd get on her face, the way she'd look up at him, and he'd always know whenever those moments struck that whatever she was about to say, she wouldn't be able to anymore.

He leaned forward intently. "Yeah, whatever you want, whatever you need. What is it?"

"Jason? There you are! Oh, hi, Elizabeth. I almost didn't see you."

Elizabeth whirled around to find Sam descending the stairs with a giant grin on her face, and Jason noticed her shoulders deflate. "Hi, Sam."

"You two enjoying the beautiful day, huh?" she asked, heading over to Jason and holding out her hand. He took it as she expected him to and stood. Sam beamed up at him and leaned against his side, wrapping her arms loosely around his waist. "It's the first one in a long time. I keep trying to convince this one to take me out on his boat again but he's got the lamest excuses – something called 'work.' Am I right?"

Elizabeth tried to laugh and jerkily tucked her hair behind her ears. "Yeah, yeah. Well, I hope you guys do make it out on your boat. It's a shame to waste a day like this. I'd be enjoying it, too, but I actually have to get back to the hospital."

Jason's brows furrowed. "Are you sure? You said-"

She tapped her watch and gave them a half-smile. "My shift starts in a little while and if I'm late again Epiphany will go off on me. It was…nice talking to you. I'll see you later."

Sam waved as Jason watched Elizabeth practically flee. "Yeah…see you later."

"Poor girl – doesn't it seem like she's _always _at the hospital?" Sam asked, rubbing his back over the cotton of his blue t-shirt. "I swear, it's like she's got no life outside that place. I don't know what she's thinking, letting General Hospital take over her life like that."

Jason nodded absently as Sam pulled him toward the other staircase leading away from the piers. It wasn't the first time that he found himself wishing for nothing more than to know what Elizabeth Webber was thinking.


	2. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

**1 – I'm a bitch / I'm a lover – 1**

_  
The next morning…_

The sink was clogged again.

He had told Sam a million times not to brush her hair over it and then wash the stray hairs down the drain, but she always forgot and now it was clogged again.

Jason stared at the murky pool of bluish-gray water, a combination of toothpaste backwash and dirty tap water, speckled with microbes of mascara and eye shadow that were less micro than one would hope, and grimaced. With a sigh, he plunged a hand into the repulsive brew and pulled on the drain stopper to relieve the stagnancy.

It didn't budge.

Jason yanked harder, splashing a little of the vile mixture onto the edge of his t-shirt. In his haste and unbridled desire to finish the job and wash his hands twice with soap, he didn't notice that Sam had yet again left her curling iron plugged in and sitting next to the sink. It didn't matter how many times he told her to keep the counter clean or conserve energy – he might be a hit-man, but he was at the very least environmentally conscious – but his girlfriend still didn't listen.

The stopper gave slightly and Jason pulled again, managing to yank it from the drain. In doing so, his elbow crashed into the curling iron which fell, slow-motion, into the watery mess that he still had both of hands submerged in.

A shattering crackle echoed through the large bathroom and sizzled up his arms, and Jason Morgan was soon lying passed out on the cream-colored tiles.

* * *

He had no idea how long he was out, but when he came downstairs, rubbing the bump on the back of his head and thanking whatever god existed for not dying on his bathroom floor, he found Sam talking to Milo.

"Here's the list," she was saying, handing him a sheet of paper with a long list of things scribbled in her messy, almost illegible hand. "Just a few things I need. It probably won't take too long."

"Good thing, too," the young guard smiled. "I've got a date with Lulu tonight and I have to take care of some last-minute details."

"Aw, that's great."

_It's almost amusing to hear how a bumbling little oaf like you plans to wow a pretty girl who's so out of your league that it's all carefully spelled out in the title of a Jules Verne novel. Thank you, Matt Groening of the Simpsons for that little insult._

Jason's eyes widened and he stopped on the landing and shook his head. He _couldn't _have heard right – he just couldn't.

"Yeah, I've been trying to get her to go out with me forever."

_She must have been having an aneurysm when she agreed._

The conversation was like a train wreck; Jason could only stand there and listen to the horrible words coming out of his girlfriend's mouth.

"So what are you guys going to do?"

"Well, I thought I'd take her horse-back riding along the Cliff Road. Jason was the one that suggested it – he said the girls really loved it. The right girls. I sure hope Lulu's a 'right girl,' you know what I mean?"

_How can anyone know what you mean when all you do is mumble all the time?_

"Yeah, yeah. That sounds great."

"And afterwards, I'll probably end up making her dinner at my place, and we can watch old Salvador Dali films. I remember her saying that she loves him and Louis Binuel."

_Ooh, Slav – Sald – Sadalor – Salvador Dali. Big words for such a simple mind._

"If it goes well, who knows, maybe she'll go out with me again."

_Yeah, like that will ever happen. She'll probably take a hammer to her foot so she can kindly turn down your invitation for a night of dinner and dancing. Do you even realize how pathetic you are? What girl could possibly be interested in a brainless tool like you? Ugh, it would be mortifying if it wasn't so amusing…for me._

"Sam!"

Both Milo and Sam turned around as Jason came trotting down the steps, his eyes wide and a look of disbelief on his face.

"What?"

Jason gaped at both Milo and Sam, who stared up at him in confusion. Finally, he just shook his head and turned to his young bodyguard. "She didn't mean that like it came out. I'm sorry if-"

"Mr. Morgan, what are you talking about?" Milo asked with a confused smile. "Ms. McCall just wanted me to pick up a few things for her."

"Exactly," Sam replied, crossing her arms over her chest and regarding Jason strangely. "I needed a few little things from the store and I just asked Milo to pick them up and drop them off with me before he took off for the night."

_Jeez, uptight much? Just because you don't send your guards out on errands doesn't mean that's not what they're for. Especially useless little third-tier peons like Milo here._

Jason stared at her. _"What_?"

"What?"

Milo cut in before the couple entered an infinite loop. "Seriously, Boss, it's no big deal at all."

"Milo, did you think that anything I said to you was rude?" Sam asked, twining her fingers under her chin and batting her lashes at the guard. "Anything?"

"No way," he replied earnestly as Jason looked back and forth between them, bewildered.

"But I heard you say-"

"She just asked me to pick these things up," Milo interrupted, holding up the list. "And I'm going to do that now. You two have a good day, and I'll probably see you tomorrow."

He was losing his mind. Plain and simple, there it was: he was losing his damn mind.

"Have fun on your date tonight," Sam called out sweetly, waving the young guard off as Jason stared at her. Finally, he just shook his head and shuffled over to the wet bar.

"What's the matter with you?" his girlfriend asked as soon as the door was shut. "You okay?"

"I just…hit my head upstairs," he explained lamely, downing a little whiskey and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," she murmured, heading over to the couch. She took her time arranging the pillows on one side and then flopped down on the mound, crossing her ankles on the coffee table. "I hope Milo doesn't take too long with my stuff."

Jason pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned his back to her, but still heard her muttering. He thumbed through his missed calls and noticed that the most recent one was from Elizabeth.

_Last time it took him three hours. I bet he stopped at the food court._

He had turned around mid-way through her little sidebar, and Jason was _astonished _to see that Sam's lips weren't even moving as she thumbed through her magazine.

This was incredible. This was…unbelievable. This was…_holy mother of God._

He could read her thoughts.

He could _read _her _thoughts_.  
_  
He could read her thoughts._

Quick! What was she thinking now? Right at this moment?

_Fat…fat…whorish…_

Sam's nose crinkled as she flipped through her fashion magazine.

_Ugh. Total dog. Who told her she could model? Fat…fat…whoa! Thunder thighs!_

Jason stared at her as she licked her thumb and turned another page. That couldn't be all that was going through her mind. There had to be something else, something more meaningful.

_Ohhh. An ad for the AIDS bracelet. That's a great ad campaign, and a great cause, too. _

He sighed with relief. Okay, good.

_But you have to wonder what those scientists are doing with all the money they've been getting. Port Charles alone has been holding charity auctions since the seventies. Mismanagement of funds, that's what it is. Ooh! Watermelon pink bra and panties! Jason would love those._

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose. Oh, dear God.

_Fat…fat…ew, redhead. Why would you continue living?! Fat…fat…horse teeth…finger toes…wonky eye…_

Even though it was just after breakfast, Jason reached for the whiskey bottle again. How the hell could he read thoughts? When had it happened? Why had it happened? And why to him? Were there others out there who could read thoughts? Could he read everyone's thoughts? Children? Animals? What the hell was going on?

_Oh, god, look at that nose. Rhinoplasty, sweetheart, stat! Fat…fat…total cow…ooh, I love those boots. I'll have to order them. At 1500, they're so totally a steal._

Jason thought back to the events of the morning, hoping to remember some answers. He had woken up and made a few calls, then had coffee in the kitchen while Sam slept. Then he checked his email as Spinelli ran out the door to meet Lulu for breakfast. Then he'd gone upstairs and showered and found the sink clogged…

The sink! That was it. It had been clogged and he'd been trying to drain it when he'd knocked something…a curling iron!…into the murky water. He didn't remember the rest too well, which probably meant that he'd electrocuted himself and passed out on the bathroom floor.

If anyone asked him about it…he was going to lie and say he was lifting in his weight room.

Yeah.

That must have been it. He must have gotten electrocuted and passed out and hit his head and when he woke up, he had this…_ability_.

Jason shook his head briskly, hardly believing any of it himself. It was too outlandish, too ridiculous. For God's sake, he was an enforcer, not a psychic!

Although he had to admit, there were probably quite a few people that wished they had his current abilities.

"Morning, Stone Cold! Goddess, you're looking as fair as ever," Spinelli grinned bashfully as he let himself into the penthouse. "Stone Cold, what are you still doing home? You're usually out and about at this time, policing Port Charles and vanquishing evil-doers and drinking coffee and such."

"Yeah…I got a late start," Jason mumbled, leaning against the pool table and watching Spinelli hang up his coat. Maybe…

"So, Goddess, guess where I was?"

_Not far enough from me._

"Where, Spinelli?"

"I was out on a date with the fair Lulu who, though exceedingly fair, does not hold a candle to your hotness."

_Speak English, you yutz._

"Aw, that's…sweet. A date, huh?"

"Well, that's not what she called it. She called it her being at Kelly's and my randomly showing up and there being no other empty tables, thus necessitating our eating together. But I'm calling it a date."

_You would_.

"Oh, kid, you're adorable."

_I hate you._

"High praise coming from she who embodies the term," the boy grinned cheekily, rolling up his sleeves and heading over toward the bookshelf by the pool table where he kept his laptop. "Perhaps later I might persuade you in playing a game of Zork Zero? Hm? Maybe? Kinda?"

_I'd rather take my gun and shoot myself than sit next to you on the couch and smell your faint odor of Fritos and gym socks and tick away on your laptop._

"It's a very sweet offer, Spinelli, but I was hoping to decompress and relax a little before my shoot with Amelia today at the park."

_And wise up, you little punk. You're a greasy little nerd with absolutely zero social skills, and you can't seriously think that just because my overly generous boyfriend lets you live here because no one else in their right mind would take you in, that I'm actually going to pal around with you. Got it?_

"Got it, it's totally cool. I – uh, Stone Cold? Dude, what are you doing?"

Spinelli was, of course, asking Jason who remained by the pool table, his face scrunched in concentration, his eyes squinting and straining, his neck jutting out to bring him as close to Spinelli's face as acceptable by a heterosexual paradigm.

_Oh, great, now he can't stop staring at his other girlfriend._

Jason ignored her.

"Stone Cold? The Jackal appreciates the attention and your affection, but you're violating my personal space. Please cease and desist, otherwise the Jackal will have no choice but to scream like a girl and immediately sign up for therapy sessions."

Well, reading Spinelli's mind hadn't worked; he could only read Sam's. Jason didn't know how to feel about that. On the one hand, it creeped him out, as Spinelli would say, that he could only read a woman's mind and not a man's…not that Spinelli counted as a man, but for the sake of argument…

On the other hand, he wasn't so sure that he wanted to know what was going on in that boy's head.

Jason let it go and moved aside so Spinelli could get his laptop.

"Jason, what is _with _you today?" Sam wanted to know. "It's like you're totally out of it. Tell you what, if you're actually going crazy, let me know so that I can call the men with the white jackets before I leave for the shoot."

_And now his other girlfriend will comfort him._

As Jason wondered what Sam meant by that, Spinelli appeared at his side and threw an arm over his shoulder. "Don't listen to her, Stone Cold," he advised seriously, giving Jason a shake. "It's totally cool – I don't take offense. The Jackal is like the 100 watt bulb to your admiring little moth."

"Get away from me," Jason hissed, roughly pushing the boy aside. "I…I have to go."

Interesting. This was an _interesting _development. He could read Sam's thoughts, but he hadn't been able to read Milo's or Spinelli's. If it would be pragmatic to form a hypothesis so early in the game, Jason would be forced to conclude that he could only hear the thoughts of women.

He stopped on his way to the closet as it fully sank in.

He could _hear _the thoughts of _women_.

Women _everywhere_. All of them.

Holy living fuck, he was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet!

Kicked back into motion, Jason quickly opened the closet door and grabbed his leather jacket. "I have to go," he repeated again, trying to hide the excitement in his voice.

Holy shit, he could _hear _women! Yessss!

The first thing he was going to do as soon as he was out was give Elizabeth a call. He'd call her up and tell her that he was sorry he missed her before – he'd just leave out the part where he'd been lying unconscious on his bathroom floor. Then, instead of risking whether or not his new abilities worked over the phone, he'd ask to meet her. Kelly's, the hospital, Vista Point, the bridge, Hell, he'd meet her on the moon if she told him to.

And then he would _finally _know whatever it was that Elizabeth was trying to talk to him about, and they could forever put this horrible awkwardness behind them and go back to the way everything used to be.


	3. I can understand how you'd be confused

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

**2 – I can understand / How you'd be so confused – 2**

_At General Hospital…_

Jason shifted his weight from one foot to the other, glancing discreetly at the other passengers in the elevator as it crawled up to the fifth floor.

There was a woman in her early fifties who kept powdering her face; Jason knew it was because she suffered from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and wouldn't be able to stop until she had performed fifty-three pats with the little applicator.

Why fifty-three?

Because the woman was crazy.

No, because that was her age. She really would look like a ghost if she lived to be ninety.

Jason cleared his throat and his eyes moved around the compartment, passing over the college kid with a five-o'clock shadow at eleven in the morning and the accountant going over the morning's newspaper. To his left there was a young mother bringing her son in for an appointment; it was the child's seventh ear infection this month and she was worried, but not too worried because she'd suffered from them as a child, too. She also suspected that her husband was cheating on her.

A young Middle Eastern nurse next to this woman was playing with the baby over its mother's shoulder, letting the boy take her finger in his chubby fist and wag it around, and she was thinking in some strange language that Jason had never heard before but surmised to be Arabic, so he quickly moved on.

There was a seven-year-old girl who had gone down to the third floor for the only functioning ice cream vending machine in the hospital and was now singing Christmas carols in her mind. Jason winced and tried to tune her out because she was on _The Little Drummer Boy_ and the _pa-rum-pa-pum-pum_s always got on his nerves ever since Michael and Morgan had decided to wake him up Christmas morning that one year by screaming them in his ear as he slept.

A woman in her early thirties was checking him out, her friend was for some unknown and ungodly reason listing all forty-three presidents of the United States of America in order, and the young mother with the kid who had the ear infection had now moved past suspicion of her husband's affair to certainty.

The elevator crawled to a stop on the fifth floor and the doors opened. The young mother who was now going to put Nair in her husband's shampoo the second she got home left, her son waving at the Middle Eastern nurse. The girl with the ice cream cone followed the college kid with the iPod out and Jason did as well. He stepped out onto the fifth floor and looked around, for the first time noticing just how many women worked at General Hospital.

They were _everywhere_.

All shapes and sizes and ages and colors, too. Some were nurses, others doctors, others orderlies and interns and residents, and some were patients. They were everywhere! Where had all these women come from? And how come he'd never noticed them before?

Though it generally wasn't in his nature to eavesdrop, Jason wasn't about to let this gift go to waste. He noticed a young intern in blue scrubs bending over to pick up a pencil she had dropped, and he had to hide a smirk when he heard what she was thinking.

_Okay, you can't bend over that way anymore because when you do, that last vertebrae above your butt sticks out and you look like a camel._

He moved past her smoothly without missing a step and passed a nurse carrying a large stack of charts.

_I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dee dee dee dee dee dee, there they are a-standing in a row. Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!_

Obviously, she was a mother with young children very much into the same Disney movies that Michael and Morgan loved.

That nurse handed half of her charts off to another petite redheaded nurse that expertly flipped through one after another on her walk to wherever she was going. She was about as tall as Jason's chest with delicately curled auburn locks and painted fingernails, and Jason was mildly surprised to see her wink in recognition at that scruffy college kid with the iPod, but more surprised to hear her plans for the evening.

_Get ready to get your ass kicked on the docks tonight, Ben. I just got my baby back from the shop and I am going to tear. It. Up. You'll be lucky if I don't drive circles around your butt in the first three seconds. You think you've seen drag racing, hon? Get ready to lose five hundred dollars – and try to take it like a man this time._

He shook his head and hurried away. A drag racing nurse?

_Awesome_.

Enjoying his new gift, he had taken the wrong turn and was now in the hallway with all the conference rooms. The board members and trustees had been having a meeting that morning and now they all filed out, some of them sparing him vaguely snide glances while others ignored him entirely. There were only two women present, and he learned from only a few seconds of listening that they were in league together and had been managing to successfully get the old men to cow to their will for years now. Thanks to these two women, Dr. Patrick Drake and Dr. Robin Scorpio were no longer on probation for performing a liver transplant on Dr. Noah Drake.

He turned the corner and passed a young woman who was helping her boyfriend to the hub to check out. She was already planning to tell her best friend – despite her boyfriend's wishes – that he had broken his penis.

Jason cringed and shook it off, hurrying down the hallway to the hub by the other set of elevators. He didn't even know you could break those things.

Epiphany stood in the nurse's station, up to her neck in charts and memos. But her mood didn't seem to be any more foul than usual so Jason approached. He rested his hands lightly on the counter but the head nurse didn't look up. He cleared his throat. Still nothing.

"Epiphany."

Her head snapped up and her dark eyes met his. "Jason. What do you want?"

_And it better not have anything to do with that sniveling, incompetent, unhinged bed warmer of yours. I cannot believe I helped that ingrate get out of here only to have her attack my staff over a damn scarf. Get your life in order, damn boy, and stop bothering other people with your problems. We've all got our own troubles and don't need to take on your harpy as well._

He blinked.

She arched a brow at him. "Was there something you needed?"  
_  
Spit it out, boy._

"Uh, yeah," he stammered, pushing away from the station and slipping his hands awkwardly into his pockets. "I was wondering if Elizabeth was working today."

"I'll check the schedule." Epiphany turned away and pulled up the chart on the computer. After studying it for a few seconds, she turned back to him. "Her shift started a couple hours ago but she decided to take a half-day and signed out a minute or two ago."

His brow furrowed. "She signed out early? Is everything okay?"

"She's been under a lot of stress lately," Epiphany replied tightly. "The baby, her ex-husband, her other ex-husband sniffing around. Things haven't been easy for her and I hope she took a day off to relax. Lord knows that girl needs it."

_And you let her have it, you hear? Every time I turn around, you're poking around the hospital looking for her. It was bad enough when she thought you might be the father of her child; now that all that mess is taken care of, why can't you just let the poor girl be? Why do you have to make it so hard for her? Just leave her alone, let her take a breath._

_This is hard enough on her as it is. You think it's easy for her to see you all the time? Poor girl. Not to say that she didn't bring this on herself, but it's still hard enough on her. Forget Elizabeth. She's not your concern. Just go home and spend time with your own girlfriend; everyone knows that girl needs it, judging by how insecure she gets every time you even look at Elizabeth and how she clings to your ass if she sees you two talking._

Jason blinked several times, wondering what Epiphany was talking about. _What _was hard enough on Elizabeth? How was he hurting her by being her friend and being concerned for her? And if things were as bad as Epiphany said they were, shouldn't it be a good thing that he was around and in her corner?

"I…I just wanted to talk to her, see how she was doing, if she needed anything…"

Epiphany's shoulders slumped and she sighed heavily, for the first time putting down the charts she held. "Look, Jason, I know you're a good man and that you're one of Elizabeth's closest friends. You've always tried to do right by her and as Elizabeth's boss and friend, I appreciate that. But sometimes a woman needs her space."

"Not this time," Jason disagreed firmly without a hint of challenge in his drawn voice. "She needs a friend to talk to. She's been trying to talk to me about something for weeks now, and I'm not going anywhere until I know what's bothering her."

The nurse rolled her eyes, but he could tell the expression wasn't malicious.

_Good for you, then._

"She just checked out a little while ago, so she's probably changing in the locker room," Epiphany muttered, turning to her charts again. "Maybe you can catch her."

"Thanks," Jason nodded, tapping the counter twice before turning on his heel. Epiphany was a little rough around the edges and a little brusque at times, but he had always known that she was a fine, upstanding woman that saw the younger nurses under her care as her own to guide, and that she tried to lend them support whenever and however she could. She was a good woman, Epiphany was.

_If Stanford ever spoke to me like that, it would have gotten him a spanking. Come to think of it, it wouldn't be so bad spanking you either, Morgan. Mm._

He whirled around, startled, and found Epiphany watching him from the nurse's station. She put her hands on her hips and arched a brow.

"And what are you staring at?"

Jason tried to speak but ended up just shaking his head and quickly hurrying down the hallway, eager to round the corner.

_That's right, keep on walking, white boy. Mm-hmm._

Oh, dear God.


	4. I'm a child, I'm a mother

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

3 – I'm a child / I'm a mother – 3

_Still at General Hospital…_

Jason headed down the corridor toward the co-ed locker room – really, was such a thing even legal anymore? Alan had better check with the hospital lawyer on that one – and noticed Robin Scorpio heading toward him, ready to begin her morning shift.

_Okay, don't panic, Robin. Whatever you do, don't panic. Only bad things happen when you panic. You throw things and with your deadly aim, that's not a good thing. Just breathe. Stay calm._

His brows furrowed. What was Robin so upset about?

_This could be harmless. It doesn't have to mean anything. Just because Patrick has two plane tickets to Vegas in his top drawer at home doesn't mean that he and Pete are going to go away to Vegas again. He wouldn't do that to you. He knows exactly why you were angry with him the first time he did it and now that we're both in a committed relationship, you have him whipped and abused enough to know not to do anything you disapprove of. So just calm down. Recite medical trivia, that always calms you down. DAMMIT ROBIN WHY THE HELL WON'T YOU CALM DOWN? THIS is why Patrick wants to go to Vegas – because you are incapable of calming down! So just calm the fuck down!_

Jason's eyes widened – he'd never known Robin to swear. Not ever.

_Tickets to Vegas. Two tickets to Vegas. ST depression on an electrocardiogram is consistent with subendocardial ischemia. Tickets to Vegas. Two tickets to Vegas. Beta blockers, methyl dopa, and digoxin can aggravate carotid sinus hypersensitivity and lead to secondary syncope. Two tickets to Vegas…_

Yeah, she was even more insane as a doctor than she had been as a teenager.

"Robin."

_The neurologic manifestations of Wegener's ganulomatosis include cranial neuropathy, hearing loss, mononeuritis muliplex, and CNS lesions!_

She jumped when she heard his voice, and he could tell by that and her abrupt thought that he had caught her by surprise.

"What?"

"Can you do me a favor? Check and see if Elizabeth is in there."

Robin headed into the locker room where she was going to change anyway and two seconds later poked her head back out and nodded. "Yeah, she is."

And with that, she stepped back inside and let the door swing shut. Jason nodded to himself and rubbed his palms together. In a few minutes, he'd be able to catch Elizabeth on her way home from work. Maybe he'd offer to walk her and they could talk on the way, or maybe it would be better to ask her if she wanted to go to Kelly's for something to eat. She was eating for two, after all.

Bottom line, he couldn't wait to put his new gift to use. It didn't matter where he and Elizabeth were when they talked; as long as she was thinking about what she wanted to tell him, that was all he needed.

He didn't bother to question before now why Elizabeth was his first thought upon learning of his new abilities. The answer, though, was obvious enough. Their half-conversation yesterday still bore upon him. It was awkward and stilted and vague and pressing, and in hindsight it gripped him with an urgency to know what she had been trying to say. He and Elizabeth were never very good at communication when it came to important things – like them.

Plus, Sam's thoughts had been a waste. He felt guilty for thinking that, but it was true. All she cared to think about was her fashion magazine and the supposedly 'fat' models therein. But everyone was allowed to decompress and just relax once in a while, so he didn't hold it against her. There were times, when he was sitting on the couch with a cold beer in his hand, that he didn't really think about anything important, either.

What had surprised him, though, was Epiphany's impression of Sam. The two of them had met under terrible circumstances, all of them – the virus, Sam's emergency operation, the time that Sam had been a wanted criminal in need of an escape. And while he didn't think the two had become fast friends or anything, he didn't think that Epiphany thought so little of his girlfriend.

And that troubled him because Epiphany was a good, upright, honest woman – when she wasn't ogling his butt – and a good judge of character. And if she didn't like Sam…

But then again, her opinion was just one out of many. There weren't many people in this town that didn't like Sam, after all. Epiphany was just one of few.

"Jason? Jason! Hi!"

He turned around and spotted little Kristina Davis waving at him from over by the nurse's station. Alexis stood with her and was chatting with a nurse and when she saw him, the older woman offered a small smile.

Jason glanced at the door to the locker room and reluctantly headed over to where the two were standing. He'd just have to keep an eye on the door so that he could grab Elizabeth whenever she finished and emerged.

"Hi," he smiled at the little girl. "Hey, Kristina, how are you?"

"I'm good," she smiled. "I'm here with Mommy. She has an appointment and she said it would be quick, and I asked if I could come."

"That's real nice of you," Jason replied, looking over at Alexis. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," she replied with a smile. "Thanks for asking."

_I feel like shit and I'd give my kidney for some more of Spinelli's cure-all. Oh, good gracious, now I'm thinking like a drug addict. Pretty soon I'll be going through Kristina's piggybank and selling my blood to score. Fabulous._

Jason smiled at that. "If there's ever anything you need, just tell me, or Sonny…or Spinelli."

She understood immediately what he was saying and grinned, and the tension between them was temporarily dispelled. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm trying to get through on my own. Not that Spinelli wasn't a big help," she added hurriedly. "I appreciated his help and company very much."

_He let me wear his beanie. It. Was. Awesome._

"How are your sessions going?"

"Much better," Alexis nodded. "I had my doubts about Dr. Ford, I'll admit it, but things have all worked out really well. I'm doing much better in general. So…how are you? How's that daughter of mine?"

_I love how I have to ask the local hitman for info on my own prodigal daughter. I'm laughing on the inside, I really am._

"Sam's…good," Jason replied slowly, tugging on his ear as he always did when he didn't quite know what to say.

_Oh, for God's sake, stop pulling on your ear. You look like a child. _

He yanked his hand down immediately. "Yeah, she's good."

"How's her show going? Isn't there a premiere or some big deal party going on tomorrow?"

Jason nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, her show, uh, uh-"

_Oh, too funny._

"You mean 'Everyday Heroes,' right?" Alexis asked sweetly as Kristina scuffed her toes.

"Yeah, that. The big premiere's tomorrow and it's being held at the Metrocourt."

"Oh," she nodded. "Carly must be happy – it's good for business."

_Of course the two most opportunistic, money-hungry women in town would work together and sweeten the pot for each other. It only makes sense._

Jason blinked. "Yeah, everyone's…real excited."

_I can see that. You're just jumping for joy, aren't you? Interesting._

"I bet. It's a really big deal. After all, how many of us are really going to be famous?" she shrugged lightly. "When we're young, we all think we will, but very few of us ever get there. Good for Sam."

_You're stupid if you don't realize that my daughter's notoriety is only going to shed a sharper, brighter light on yours and Sonny's notoriety. _

"Yeah…She's…really enjoying all this."

_My God, I could go through rounds of chemo during all your emphatic pauses. I think Kristina sprouted three inches while waiting for you to finish that sentence._

Okay, really, this was too much. Jason leveled a bland look at his former-mother-in-law-to-be and waited for her to imitate the next part of their conversation.

"I heard it's a really action-packed show," Alexis said. "Burglaries and nighttime assaults and affairs-gone-wrong all Fatal Attraction style and that sort of thing. Must be right up your alley."

"Yeah."

"…Have you ever seen an episode?"

He went to tug on his ear, then stopped himself. "Uh, no, not yet. Maybe they'll show a part of one at the premiere. I don't know."

_Wow, aren't you the supportive housewife? I love that._

"Oh. I can't wait to see what they have Sam doing for the whole hour of programming."

"Amelia said that they had tailored the role to fit what Sam was good at."

_Sleeping with my ex-husband and then refusing to take any responsibility for it? Ooch. That would get you an NC-17 rating right there. No, sir, the censors would not like that one bit._

Jason's jaw squared but he didn't say anything.

"I remember hearing from someone – Mike, maybe – that they had her do more of a talking, M.C. type thing on the show, which I think is great for her. He said that she was saying the scripts were a bit long, but she'll get used to it."

"Yeah, she will."

"Well, I love that you're handling all this so well," Alexis smiled. "She's been really busy with it from what I hear, and it'll only get worse. I love that you're being so supportive of her, Jason. I'm sure it means a lot."

He let his guard down a little. "Thanks. I'm glad she found something that she likes to do."

"Yeah, me, too."

_So after everything that's happened, you two are just peachy-keen, huh? Wonderful. Incredible. You must be on your knees thanking the good Lord for your brain damage every night, because it allows you to have the short-term memory of a goldfish. Really, that's the only way to explain how you've completely forgotten that my wrong-side-of-the-tracks daughter slept with her stepfather on the floor of our lake house and then stood in the foyer and dared to talk to me while wearing the same clothes that Ric didn't even have the patience to rip completely off of her._

But, hey, whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night, Morgan – or rather, whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep with her at night, huh? Yeah, that's better. Because honestly, there's only one thing that could explain why you've completely forgiven her for something she chose to do all by her lonesome and why you've once again lopped off your balls and given them to her to wear as earrings – you are completely, one hundred percent out of your mind. Stupid, stupid boy. I'd feel sorry for you if I didn't think that it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

Jason's jaw dropped but before Alexis had time to register his change of expression, the elevator doors opened and Sonny called out to them.

"Hey, Kristina, Jason, Alexis. I didn't think I'd run into you three here." He hiked up his pressed slacks and crouched on the floor, kissing Kristina's hair when she threw her arms around his neck. "What's going on?"

"We're here for Mommy's appointment and Mommy and Jason are talking about Sam's show," Kristina explained.

"Oh, yeah, Sam's show," her father nodded, looking at Alexis after glancing at Jason. "So, how are you? How're the appointments going?"

"Good," Alexis nodded as Jason looked toward the door of the locker room again. She and Sonny launched into the same slightly forced conversation that the two of them had just moments ago, and Jason was about to excuse himself when he heard little Kristina humming under her breath.

_Boring, borings, why are grown-ups so boring? They went to bed and bumped their heads and got real boring in the moooooorning._

The corner of his mouth hooked up at the child's song and Jason decided to stick around for just a few minutes longer. Besides, Elizabeth hadn't finished changing yet, anyway.  
_  
I wonder if Dr. Ford will gimme a lollypop again this time. If he does I'll ask for a green one. The purple ones are icky. I wish hospitals had fruit roll-ups. Those are the best. And Gushers._

Jason had no idea what Gushers were, but he kept on listening.

"Right, Jason?"

He blinked and looked over at Sonny. "Oh – yeah, uh, right."

_Hee hee. Jason wasn't even listening to Daddy. He's so funny._

His lips twitched but he didn't look at the child, just continued to nod along to whatever Sonny and Alexis were saying as he listened to her thoughts.

_Oh, Jason, you're such a nice man. But you're too big. You should try getting shorter. I heard that if you sit on the ground real tight, like in a ball, you can get shorter._

_I wish you'd take me out on your boat again. That was real fun. I like boats. The water's so blue out on the lake, but it's green, too. It's not like that in the pictures. In the pictures it's either really dark blue or very light blue. But the water that day was blue and green and black. Tommy Angelis made fun of me in Art because when I drew a picture of your boat, I made the water blue and green and black. He said that water could only be blue or clear like it was when it was in a glass. He's stupid and so is his face._

Kristina was such a sweet little girl. She was the only little girl he knew, in fact, and Jason liked that he could get inside her head like this. Little girls were something else.

_One day I'm gonna marry you, Jason Morgan._

Woah! Where the hell did _that _come from?!

Sure enough, it had come from the little girl that barely came up to his knees.

_We can get married on the docks, and I'm going to wear a long white dress with my pink Barbie sandals and you can wear a white suit like PeeWee. We'll have a house on land made of cheese, because I like cheese, but we'll spend most of our lives on your boat. You can teach me how to drive your boat, and then we can paint it pink with blue flowers. And I can teach you how to ride a pony – I started taking lessons last week. And we can ride ponies on your boat. But then we'll have to teach the ponies how to swim because we'll all be on a boat, so you and I can teach them how to swim and then you can drive your boat and I can get on the pony in the water and we can have races._

It's going to be so cool.

Unable to help himself, Jason burst out laughing. He started laughing and found that he just couldn't stop, regardless of the fact that he brought his hand up to cover his mouth and stifle the guffaws, no matter how Sonny and Alexis stared at him as if he'd lost his mind.

"Sorry," he gasped, still laughing. "Sorry – just thinking about something else. I gotta go, so, Alexis, take care."

And before Sonny or Alexis could say anything, Jason reached down and picked little Kristina up and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You stay good, okay, kid?" he asked, tweaking her nose as she beamed up at him. "See you guys."

And still laughing, Jason Morgan shook his head and ambled back over toward the locker room. If Kristina were about twenty years older, he and Sonny would have had a real problem on their hands.


	5. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**Note – **Robin here is meaner than she is on the show because it works better for me.

**What Women Want**

4 – I'm a sinner / I'm a saint – 4

He'd been waiting outside the locker room again for about two minutes before Robin came out, dressed in her scrubs and eager for the surgery she and Noah would be performing together in two hours. The brunette clipped her hair up in a neat bun and glanced over at him and Jason frowned at her.

"Well?"

"What?"

_I'm warning you, Sundance Kid, don't mess with me right now. I'm in one of my moods. Two damn fucking tickets to Vegas…_

Jason rolled his eyes. "Is Elizabeth still in there?"

"No."

He stared at her. "You mean she already left? Why didn't you tell her that I wanted to talk to her?"

"You didn't ask," Robin shrugged, adjusting the lapels of her white coat.

_Wuzzup now, bitch?_

Jason glared at the infuriating brunette. "Why else would I have asked if she was in there?"

"Why would I care?" she snorted, tapping her pager against her palm when the letters didn't appear clearly. "What do you want with her, anyway?"

_You should just leave the poor girl alone. She's spent enough time crying in the locker room; she doesn't need you to add to the crap that's already on her plate._

Jason's eyes widened. Elizabeth was crying alone in the locker room at times? Had things really gotten that bad with Lucky and everything else? Why hadn't she told him?

_One can only hope that you'll leave her and Cameron alone. The last thing they need at a time like this is the friendly neighborhood jackass – and enforcer – sniffing around for God knows what. If you want tail, you're definitely looking in the wrong place. Elizabeth's a good woman and definitely too smart to sink to the likes of you – she's definitely not as stupid as I was._

The barbs didn't sting as much as Robin might have hoped and Jason continued to glare. "I just…nothing."

_Yeah, right, buddy. Quit peddling because no one's buying. You're always poking around in her business and it's sickening. Sickening, Jason. My God, do you even see yourself? Do you see how pathetic you look? Or how much you're hurting her? That one time after Sam yelled at her because you actually dare to talk to Elizabeth, the poor girl cried in here for half an hour! Just keep your crazy life to yourself; she doesn't want or need any part of it. Especially not since she's due in a couple months._

I have no idea what your obsession is with other people's children. Elizabeth, Cameron and the baby have nothing to do with you; accept it and move on. But of course, you can't. You've already come up with some warped sense of loyalty to a woman you call a friend who is carrying another person's child – ooh, sound familiar, dickhole?

Robin snorted to herself and shook her head as she glanced at her watch. "Whatever. I have to go."

_Just watch your damn step. Because if you hurt my friend Lucky any more than he's already hurting, or if you make Elizabeth's life any more complicated than it already is…_

The two ex-lovers glared at each other and parted. Robin went off to start rounds with her interns and Jason cursed and headed around the corner to once again see if he could find Elizabeth. She almost always checked in with her grandmother before she left the hospital after a shift, and there was a good chance that she was still lurking around.

He shook his head as he trotted back over to the nurse's station. Robin had no idea what she was talking about. This was nothing like what had happened with him and her, Carly and AJ all those years ago. Elizabeth was carrying Lucky's child, sure, and she didn't want Lucky around her, sure. So far, that much was still the same.

But Elizabeth had never come to him and asked him to pretend the baby she carried was his. And she never would have, no matter what. Elizabeth didn't think like that.

The indignant ruminations had him sucking in a breath at the thought: what would he have done if, by some chance, Elizabeth had asked him to tell the same lie again?

Would he have done it?

He still meant what he told Sonny a while back. Every time he looked at Elizabeth, especially after she started to show, he felt like he had lost something unbearable that he'd never, ever be able to get back. He had been disappointed that he hadn't fathered her child.

Did that mean he would have been willing to lie and claim it all the same?

His initial feelings stunned him and Jason's mind raced with the next inevitable questions. What about Sam? What about the future they had planned? What would he and Elizabeth do? Would she want to get married like he had originally proposed? Would they eventually fall in love? Would they ever tell the child the truth?

He was getting ahead of himself. Elizabeth would never ask him to claim a child that wasn't his, the way Carly had.

Robin didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

And thus resolved, Jason renewed his efforts to find his missing friend and once and for all put an end to all the unrelenting questions.


	6. So take me as I am

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

5 – So take me as I am – 5

Jason turned around the corner and almost collided with Patrick Drake. Each man brushed himself off and after giving the other a warning look, continued on his way.

Behind him, Jason heard Robin squawk her boyfriend's name and knew instantly that Drake Junior was going to have to answer for those two plane tickets to Nevada.

Rather than stick around for what he knew would be a very interesting conversation given Robin's penchant for dramatics, Jason headed down the long hallway to the staff lounge where Audrey Hardy could sometimes be found fixing herself coffee and counseling the younger, overwhelmed nurses.

_So you have wrinkles. Big deal. You'll get yourself some of that microderm abrasion stuff and look as good as new. So don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry._

He slipped past a female doctor who appeared to be approaching middle age and kept walking.

_Yes! Paul actually noticed me for the first time! And the way he said "Hey, don't I know you"…Oh, what a dreamboat. He's scheduled to work the clinic today; I think I can arrange to just happen to be down there at least once before lunch. And why not? I'm getting great ass-age with these scrubs today._

Another flirty young nurse – General Hospital was crawling with them, and Jason found himself wondering if the rest of the male population knew what a gold mine the hospital was.

But all those puerile lusty thoughts vanished the second Jason spotted a very preoccupied Ms. Sneed, the hospital accountant, heading toward him. The woman had been very rude to Sam and against her hiring from the start, and he knew her to be a shrewd, cold, money-minded woman with absolutely no concern for anything but her little beans. Her thoughts were barely worth the effort it took reading them.

_Okay, Mr. Dwight Grossman in ICU doesn't have insurance. He's one of twenty or so gomers that Pleasant Meadows Adult Care Center sends over here every four months with the same high fever and malaise routine. But this man doesn't have insurance. The hospital's policy is to send him straight over to County._

She was already planning to send some poor guy over to County because she didn't want the hospital to spend an extra buck; he wasn't at all surprised.  
_  
And then County will wait until his temperature hits 98.6 and then they'll cart him back to Pleasant Meadows. Four months later, Pleasant Meadows will cart him over here, we'll cart him over to County, and they'll wait for his temperature to go down and they'll cart him back over again._

Bureaucracy bites.

Jason stopped and blinked. Did he and Ms. Sneed just agree on something?

She tapped her pencil against her lips and stared at her notes, still lost in her thoughts.

_But according to Nurse Webber's notes, Dr. Jones says Mr. Grossman needs surgery on his liver. That's Noah's department – or Dr. Monica, of course. Either one of them. Monica's not on today, but Noah is. Check the computer at the hub to see what his surgery schedule is like today; if he has room…_

Yes. Ask him to free up a slot for one more person.

Wait a second – what was this? It was an interesting and uncharacteristic development, so Jason decided to listen for a few seconds longer. It wasn't every day that Ms. Sneed rose out of her coffin and did something nice for a change.

_If he can free up the slot, you'll have to distract Alan and keep him from noticing that Mr. Grossman's been added in. Make a fuss about…about…about those idiot candystripers that keep messing up hospital records and stealing supplies. Say something about how they make General Hospital liable for…something. Just keep him busy with the crazy._

If Grossman gets his liver surgery today, it's going to be a one-time expense for General Hospital. This man has been here every four months for the past two years like clockwork and even though we've had to cart him over to County since, we've still incurred the initial expense. If he goes through with the liver surgery and makes it through post-op, it's a one-time expense. He won't be back here again.

She appeared to nod to herself to steel her resolve and Jason backed away, impressed.

_Yes. Fiscally, this is the responsible thing to do. Check Noah's schedule, talk to him, get the family to sign, and then raise a stink about the candystripers to keep Alan occupied. It's go-time._

The sight of the tall, sharp-edged redhead marching toward the nurse's hub had Jason almost smiling. There was still no doubt in his mind that Ms. Sneed was a petty little bean-counter, as Elizabeth called her, and an absolute shrew of a woman, but he had managed to forget that even the people you think you've got pegged can end up surprising you.

_Never think you know the last words of any human heart. Henry James._

That was Epiphany, who was doing her best not to look too happy or supportive as Ms. Sneed reluctantly explained her plan and tried to recruit the senior nurse to her mission.

Jason smiled at the two war-horses and moved on to the staff lounge. But instead of finding Audrey there, he saw Kelly standing by the door blowing on her coffee as she studied her fingernails.

_Mark on Monday, we can remember that by the two M's. Jerry on Tuesday, we've got surgery Wednesday night and after that we're going to wash our hair and paint our nails and go straight to bed. On Thursday, we're going out with Sendhil and on Friday we're going to meet up with Brad and double date with Patrick and Robin. Oh, no, wait, we're not – Patrick's going to surprise Robin with a trip to Vegas and they're leaving that night. Remember to call Brad and let him know about the change in plans. Ooh, we're a busy girl next week!_

Jason stopped, stared at the petite Korean doctor, and was just about to turn around on his heel and get the hell on out of there when she spotted him.

_Oooh, fine ass Jason Morgan. Your day just got a little better._

"Jason, hi," she smiled demurely, walking over to him with her oversized mug in hand. "What are you doing here?"  
_  
And how can I get you to stay? Rowr._

"I was just…looking for someone."

"Ah," she nodded. "Anyone I know? It wouldn't be Monica, would it? She's not working today."

Jason shook his head. "Nope. I'm looking for Elizabeth, actually."

_Of course you are._

Kelly smiled just so when she thought that, and it suddenly made Jason very uncomfortable.

_I've gotta ask Elizabeth her secret. Ever since you two slept together, she's got you like a dog on a leash! She must have some really good bedroom moves. Naughty, naughty girl._

Oh, good God, he was _not _going to blush in front of Kelly Lee, no matter what smut came out of her…thoughts. Nope. He wasn't going to do it.

"Elizabeth, huh?"

He nodded, suddenly intent on saying as little as he could possibly get away with. "Yeah."

"I heard her telling someone that she was going home sick, if that helps," Kelly told him, then frowned. "But, hey, if she's sick, you gotta figure that she'd come see me about it first. I'm her gynie, after all. Maybe I should call her…"

_Shoot. Why wouldn't Elizabeth tell us if she came down with something? She's already an at-risk pregnancy – she's got her stress levels and blood pressure to watch. A fever or something would only complicate that. Okay, here's what we have to do: ditch Pinchy-Butt and get back to our office, and we're going to call her right now and see what's_-

Jason felt his resolve weakening. Kelly was, after all, one of Elizabeth's closest friends and her doctor to boot, and it was clear that she was concerned for her colleague. "Epiphany told me that she just needed to relax and get some sleep, so it's probably just that…"

"Epiphany said that?" Kelly looked relieved. "Okay, good. Yeah, I hope Elizabeth does take it easy today, maybe take a day off tomorrow, too. She's been going through a lot and all that stress is not good for her and the baby."

"Yeah."

_I bet she wouldn't mind if you dropped on by with a little TLC, Mister Morgan. I mean, you were the almost-father, after all. And who knows? You just might have the healing touch. Ow-ow! Yeah! Go, Elizabeth! You get your freak on!_

Kelly looked absurdly pleased and Jason cringed.

"I should get going – I was just looking for her around the hospital. She's not picking up her cell, so-"

"Yeah, it died last night and she has to get a new one. She'll probably let you know as soon as she gets that squared away."

_…because every red-blooded woman should have a hot stud like you on speed-dial! Now there's the definition of a booty call. Damn, Elizabeth's bad. It's always the good girls that turn out to be the bad ones. Hee._

"Okay. I have to go."

Abruptly, Jason turned on his heel, ready to do just about anything rather than spend another minute in Kelly's company. Did the girl even come with an Off button? Jesus Christ alive.

But Patrick and Robin barred his path as they approached Kelly, and Jason noticed that Robin had her arm looped through her boyfriend's. Apparently, Patrick had explained about the surprise trip a little early.

_Okay, so you have to remember to let Patrick finally get some tonight for being so sweet. And now we have to ask Kelly to take care of our dog while we're away. She'll probably say yes; Buster and Baxter can play together for a week just like they do at the park every morning. She'll probably say yes._

Jason glanced away from Robin when he heard Kelly call out to him.

"Hey, if I get in touch with Elizabeth, I'll tell her that you're looking for her."

He nodded and tried to leave but had already caught Patrick's attention.

"You're looking for Elizabeth?" the young doctor questioned. "I just saw her in the parking lot five minutes ago when I drove in. She's already checked out."

Jason cursed under his breath and glanced at his watch before darting a look at the doctor. "Thanks."

He turned his back to them just as Robin approached her friend. "Hey, Kel, Patrick and I wanted to ask you something, and it would really mean a lot to us if you said yes."

He didn't see Kelly's eyes widen but he definitely heard the wonder in her voice.

_Oh, my God, would we have a threesome with Patrick and Robin?! Hm…_

Jason's eyes widened and he increased his speed, eager to get just as far away from the women of General Hospital as possible. They had all been great half an hour ago, but he'd definitely had more than enough for one day.


	7. I'm a little bit of everything

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

**6 – I'm a little bit of everything / All rolled into one – 6**

Jason fished his phone out of his pocket when he felt it vibrate, hoping that it was Elizabeth.

"Morgan."

_"Jason, it's Carly. I really, really need you – come by the Metrocourt, okay? Thanks."_

He stared at the phone after Carly hung up, mildly displeased with the fact that she expected him to drop everything and get over to her place as fast as he could. But then, being her best friend, he decided to – temporarily – drop everything and head on over to the Metrocourt. If he was late because he had stopped off at Elizabeth's place, then Carly would want to know what kept him and if she found out, she'd make both his and Elizabeth's lives miserable for the rest of the week. No, it was best to go take care of her first and then scout Elizabeth out in peace.

* * *

The first person he saw when he entered the Metrocourt was Maxie Jones. And it was clear that Maxie didn't see him because she almost careened right into him, too lost in her own thoughts about Carly's newest hire to notice all six feet two inches of him standing right in the middle of the lobby.

_Okay, so Cooper wants to take our relationship to the next level. Great. Okay. Okay, don't freak out. You have a lot of stuff to work through if you're going to make this right with him._

Great, just what he needed: the daily incoherent diatribe of some barely legal teen tartlet. Jason rolled his eyes and was about to interrupt her inward ranting to ask where Carly was when Maxie shook her head fiercely and let out an annoyed little huff.

_Shape up, Jones! This is the first decent guy since Jesse that has wanted anything to do with the walking trainwreck that is you and if you want this to work, you're going to have to let him in. Completely. You're going to have to completely let him in. You can't muck this up like you did with Lucky, that spineless suckling that's too blind to see that his wife isn't even in love with him anymore. Besides, Coop is ten times the man Lucky Spencer will ever be, so you can't scare him off!_

_He said he wanted to be in an actual relationship instead of just fooling around. Okay. If I'm honest with myself, I want that, too. It would be nice to have that for a change. But you're going to have to be completely honest with him._

_That's right, Jones. You're going to have to tell him…your biggest secret._

Jason arched a brow at the oblivious blonde, wondering just what sort of secret a nineteen year old girl could have besides stuffing her bra with tissues or skipping band practice to neck at Vista Point. Kids these days.

_You have to tell him…that you're a big old bucket of crazy._

Jason blinked. Maxie honestly thought _that _was a secret? Half the town knew that!

_He's been so sweet and caring all this time – he'll understand. He'll understand if you're just honest with him and if you admit that you're completely, one hundred percent nuts-o. Just tell him. _

_Just tell him that ever since he told you that your sheared bangs make you look like a broom that you have cried every fifteen minutes on the half hour since he said it and had to sit on your hands to avoid breaking every woman's cardinal rule and taking scissors to your bangs yourself. _

Okay, that was a little nuts.

_I can tell him that I am racked with self-doubt, I have panic attacks that one year I'll just end up being shoved in a large air freight crate with a million postage stamps and mailed back and forth to Mom, Dad, Uncle Mac, or whoever else is supposed to be in my life but doesn't want me around. I'm claustrophobic, germ-phobic, and phobia-phobic. I talk to myself, I talk to my stuffed animals, I talk to three different shrinks about the fact that my stuffed animals often respond to me in my sister's and PeeWee Herman's voice…_

Jason backed up toward the counter, eyes wide. Okay, that was _very _nuts.

_And yesterday, when I saw that pretty female receptionist handing you your paycheck I almost killed the lady whose measurements I was taking because I couldn't stop thinking about the two of you having sex on a crate of geriatric porn DVDs! And why a crate of geriatric porn DVDs? Because my mom used to have sex with that skeletor Luke Spencer and I WALKED IN ON THEM ONCE! There, I opened up! Are you happy?!_

The heels of Jason's boots banged against the front counter and Maxie looked up abruptly to find him staring at her. Despite the fact that he had vowed to get as far away from her as he could, Jason felt he had to explain why he was staring at a teenage girl before she got the wrong idea. It seemed that with Maxie, everything was a wrong idea.

"I…uh…was just looking for Carly."

"Oh." She flipped her bangs out of her eyes – really, they did kind of look like the ends of a frayed broom – and nodded. "Yeah, sure, she's in the vault with the front end manager. She'll be out in a sec. Have a nice day."

And thankfully, Maxie Jones went away.

Jason shook his head and eased away from the counter, once again wandering into the center of the lobby. In a few minutes, a frazzled looking Carly stepped into the lobby and rushed over the instant she saw him standing there.

"Oh, Jason, you're here!" She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and squeezed as she was particularly wont to do whenever she was troubled. He let her squeeze him for a minute more and then Carly pulled her arms back, ran her hands through her hair, and let out an irritated huff. "I really need your help."

Jason sucked his teeth. "What do I have to do?"

"I need you to talk to Sonny," she said, hurrying on when she saw him pull away. "Jason, he's making this really difficult – not just on me and Jax, but on the boys. And I know that's the last thing you want. Talk to him – please?"

"If it's about you and Jax _and _the boys, why don't _you _talk to him?" Jason asked pointedly, wondering why she always felt the need to drag him into her love triangles for a sick quadrangle.

"Because he won't _listen _to me," she whined, unable to help herself. Sometimes, Sonny managed to make her feel like a helpless teenage girl with all his manipulations and domineering behavior. "He never listens to me! He just shows up at the house at all odd times – especially when me and Jax are there together – and says he wants to spend time with the boys and that he has that right because he's their _father_. He completely undermines Jax, in front of the boys, too, and I can't take it! You need to talk to him."

Right about now would be a great time to hear what she was _really _thinking, and why she _really _wanted him to get involved in this mess of her own making. Jason tilted his head a little toward her and concentrated, doing his best to pick up on her thoughts.

Nothing.

He leaned a little lower, his eyes narrowing.

"…Jason?" Carly pulled back, her hands on her hips now, and eyed him strangely. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," he covered quickly, then expertly diverted the conversation back to her. "What do you want me to tell Sonny?"

"What do you mean, what do I want you to tell him?" she raged, smacking his arm as he covertly went back to trying to read her thoughts. "Tell him exactly what I said! Jason, I'm trying to make this as easy as possible for you – tell him that he can't keep undermining and disrespecting Jax in front of the boys because whether he likes it or not, Jax _will _be their step-father. And he can't keep showing up at the house uninvited because Jax and I need our privacy and…Jason, what the _hell _are you doing?!"

With due horror, Jason realized that his ear was perilously close to her face. He jerked back. "…Nothing."

Why the hell couldn't he hear anything? He could still hear Maxie behind the desk, inwardly mumbling about something having to do with Lulu and Logan and Cooper and Scott Baldwin – honestly, he didn't even _want _to know – and he could hear the old lady mentally commenting on the lives of the celebrities she was reading about in her trashy magazine, but he wasn't getting anything from Carly.

"Whatever that was, it was really weird so don't do it again," she instructed, jabbing him with her finger. "Like I was saying, Sonny just needs to understand that I'm not trying to cut him out of my life or Michael and Morgan's life – no. God, no. I would never do that to him. He's their father and they will always need him in a way that they might not need Jax. Jax and I both get that and we totally understand and we're okay with it. But he really just needs to back up and let us breathe and – Jason, are you even listening?!"

And it was just then that he finally realized what was going on: the reason that he couldn't hear any of Carly's thoughts was because they were all coming out of her mouth.

His best friend didn't bother hiding her feelings when he burst into a rare grin. "What is with you today? You sure you're feeling all right? God, you're so _weird_."

Jason squeezed her hand affectionately, still grinning, and turned slightly toward the door. Carly was unbelievable, and it had been a long time since he remembered this well just why she was forever his best friend. She was an honest woman, bluntly and horribly so, and she had no reason to think in little asides like other women because if there was something on her mind, she made damn sure everyone knew about it. Of all the women he had met today, Carly Corinthos soon-to-be-Jacks was definitely the most sane and the least confusing. And that was a scary thought in itself.

"I'll talk to Sonny," he promised, still smiling warmly at his bewildered friend. "I have to go, but I'll talk to him."

"Jason, wait, I-"

But he was already heading out the door into the sunshine, still shaking his head and chuckling. Carly Corinthos, the model woman – oh, Jesus.


	8. When I start to make you nervous

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

7 – When I start to make you nervous / And I'm going to extremes – 7

"I can't right now. I have something to take care of."

He heard his mother sigh sadly on the other end. _"Okay, Jason, that's fine. I was hoping you'd be able to make it but…it's okay, just forget it. Stay safe, okay? And don't worry about it."_

Damn it.

"Is it really important?"

_"It's about…" _She trailed off, and he heard her clear her throat. _"We're getting ready to…to read your father's will and I was just hoping that you'd…be present."_

Shit.

Jason closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. After a long moment, he answered her silent plea. "I'll be there in ten minutes."

_"Oh, thank you, Jason. Thank you, thank you."_

He nodded even though Monica couldn't see him and snapped his phone shut, slipping it into his pocket. As much as he hated the thought, Elizabeth would have to wait just a little while longer.

The first person whose eyes he met when he walked into the Quartermaine living room was his aunt Tracy, and she was rolling hers.

_Oh, for God's sake, not the prodigal son again. Jesus Christ, where's Lieutenant Taggert when you actually need him? Well, at least he didn't bring his illiterate, bed-warming penis pump with him. I'll die before a low-rent hussy like Samantha McCall weasels her skinny butt and those floatation devices on her chest into this family. Honestly – Men. _

He didn't spare her an acknowledging nod, much less an audible greeting, and instead moved over to his mother's side. Monica offered him a small smile, the only kind she'd been able to manage since Alan's passing. With every single day that passed, the once formidable doctor seemed to draw further and further into herself.

"Hello, Jason."

He nodded and she patted his arm, averting her gaze as the family's lawyer straightened his papers and stood up.

_I'm so glad you're here. I don't think I could get through this without you and Emily._

Instinctively, he moved closer to his side and glanced at his little sister. She was seated on the couch between Ned and her grandfather and offered him a warm smile.

_It was so good of you to show up, Jason._

He could have read that much from her eyes alone, even without his newfound abilities.

_I really don't think Mom would have been able to do this without you. You have no idea how much strength you give her._

That part surprised her, but Emily's gaze was already on Edward before he could visibly react. The old man was murmuring something and Emily patted his hand lovingly, letting him twine his fingers with hers. Edward glanced over at Jason and nodded, the corner of his mouth lifting wryly. Alan's death had made the old goat gentle that way.

_Offer him some water. No, don't! Don't do that! Maybe he doesn't like water._

Jason looked over sharply when he heard the voice, and was mildly surprised to see the maid, Big Alice as he knew Dillon called her, absently wringing her fingers together.

_Shoot! What do mob men drink? They don't drink water. Think, Alice, think. What about Mister Luke? He's kind of a mobster. What does he drink?_

Jason watched, mildly amused, as the woman appeared to consider it.

_Well, I don't think Mister Edward would like it if I offered Mister Jason whiskey or a single-malt. Juice wouldn't be any good; it's too late after breakfast. Sparkling water? Would sparkling water work? Damn. There should be a For Dummies for this: Serving Beverages to Mafia Men For Dummies. I'd buy a copy, that's for sure, given all the mobsters that walk into this house._

At that moment, Luke Spencer walked into the living room and distracted the preoccupied maid, for which Jason was grateful. The two men shared a look as the Spencer patriarch made his way over to Tracy and sat down at her side. Jason could tell immediately that the two of them were upset about something, and even though he couldn't hear what Tracy whispered in Luke's ear, he didn't need to.

_Did you get a chance to take a look at the will?_

Luke nodded and mumbled something back to her, taking great care to be discreet and not catch any one else's attention. When he was done, Tracy looked close to violence.

_WHAT?! Alan did what?! Oh, that idiot! My brother's an idiot!_

Jason's brows furrowed. Tracy wasn't an entirely heartless woman: something must have really happened to upset her so soon after her brother's death. He remained close to Monica's side but did his best to listen in.

_Please, please, please tell me you at least got a chance to change it! Please tell me that the papers in the lawyer's hands are something you cooked up and signed!_

Jason's eyes widened. Luke and Tracy were conspiring to change his deceased father's will!

Luke didn't notice Jason's smoldering gaze on him as he swirled his scotch around the bottom of the glass. Tracy listened closely and then hung her head.

_Oh, for God's sake. You couldn't even forge the will. I bought you all that time, too. Damn it, why does Dillon have such a knack for being places he shouldn't? Why can't he be the next Warren Buffett instead?_

The enforcer's eyes slid over to his young cousin, seated at Edward's left hand with his own clasped between his knees. Apparently, Dillon was the one responsible for the integrity of Alan's will. Jason wondered if the boy even knew what he had done by simply being at the right place at the right time – despite what Tracy thought to the contrary.

"Thank you all for coming," their lawyer, a Southern gentleman by the name of David Cavenagh started. He had been working for the family for years and the Quartermaines all quieted down when he rose to speak. "Emily, Tracy, Jason, son, good to see you all again. Thank you for taking the time away from your schedules to be here. I know this is difficult, but in my experience it has always been best to get these affairs taken care of as soon as possible. It's part of the healing process."

But Monica didn't need to hear about the healing process and surprised everyone by interrupting. "Tom, can you please just read it?"

Instead of taking offense, the older man nodded. "Of course, Monica. I'll start with notable personal effects and move on to financial accounts, property holdings, and so forth. Is that all right with everyone?"

The whole room nodded.

_Please, please, please…please don't let it say what it's going to say._

Tracy was shaking her head, her eyes clenched shut. To anyone but Jason, she would have looked like a bereaved sister. To him, she looked like the calculating, money-grubbing bitch that wanted to change his deceased father's last wishes.

_Please, please, please…_

This was Emily. Jason looked over at his sister in surprise, noting her bowed head and closed eyes. Emily couldn't be as calculating and greedy as Tracy – could she?

His sister's head dipped lower and she squeezed Edward's hand.

_Please, please, please, let it be fair. Please don't let any one of us fight over it. Dad wouldn't have wanted that. Please, please, please, just let us all accept it happily and with respect and move on. Please, please._

His shoulders relaxed, and Jason mentally chastised himself for not knowing better. Emily wasn't concerned with her father's money – she never had been. She was concerned with his wishes, his memory, and the unity expressed by the family. She was still young, so he could forgive her for her idealism.

Monica wrapped her arms around herself and appeared to sway slightly.

_Oh, God, Alan._

Jason bit his lip and after a long moment, reached over and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him with such surprise that it almost shamed him, and Jason gave her shoulder a slight squeeze. Monica's lips quivered and then tightened, and she turned back to David and covered her mouth with her hand.

David was still going through the list.

"For Dillon," he announced, flipping to the next page and reading aloud. "_For my nephew Dillon Hornsby, I want him to have all the family videos in my archive. Dillon always asked about the family history and our lineage, all the way back to Mortimer Quartermaine who was among the first to come over on the Mayflower, and I want him to see that history and have it with him for however long he wants it. Also, in his name I have set up a trust fund of 500,000. It is to remain untouched, collecting interest, and under the control of David Cavenagh until Dillon turns twenty-one. After that, I hope he uses it for whatever he most desires. Use it to put together one of your brilliant movies, Dillon, and show it off at Cannes. You have one of the most creative and intricate minds in this family, and I would hate to think of you wasting such a great gift_."

Dillon smiled, doing his best not to cry in front of the family, and he almost lost the battle when Edward tenderly patted his head.

_Why the hell wouldn't Alan give me control of the trust fund? Doesn't he trust his own sister?_

Jason didn't even feel like expending the energy it would have taken to be properly furious with his aunt, so he ignored her altogether. He had other ways of making her pay, and he'd be taking care of that later.

"Emily Bowen-Quartermaine," David continued. "_For my daughter Emily Quartermaine, I have set up a trust fund of 1 million. I know she won't need it or even want to touch it…_"

David trailed off as the family began to laugh at Emily, who was blushing red and shaking her head _no_.

"_…but I want her to have it just in case. She might choose to donate it to her favorite charity, the AIDS foundation – that is, unless she hasn't already discovered the cure by the time she's a doctor._"

Again, Emily and the others laughed through their tears.

"_…I also want her to have her grandmother Lila's emerald necklace and matching earrings as a keepsake. My mother pawned both items off back when the Quartermaine family went broke and lived above Kelly's, and secretly set the money aside should her Pickle Lila relish not sell so well. Once we were back in the house and financially secure, we found out what she had done and searched all over town and the Tri-State area to get that necklace and those earrings back. I finally found it at a pawnshop in the same borough where Emily and Paige lived at the time. It was fate that would bring Paige Bowen's daughter to the Quartermaine family, even though I had no way of knowing that when I bought back the necklace and earrings from Don's Pawns three blocks away from their home. I want Emily to have the jewelry and to pass it down to her oldest daughter and the future women in her line, and to know that our lives were so much better for having found her. Or for her having found us._"

Emily was crying now, and Jason stood back as Monica left his side and sat down on the couch next to her, pulling the young woman into a fierce embrace. He saw her murmuring to the brunette but opted to keep his distance and not intrude on the moment.

David continued to read through Ned's portion, but Jason was zoning out until the very end. "_And I would like to set up a scholarship for Ned's L&B label, for all the talented young men and women who come to work for him, should they want to continue their education while they follow their dreams. Every year, the amount is to be drawn from the Quartermaine account and given to any young person that Ned deems eligible and worthy. Good for you, Ned, for marching to your own beat and helping so many young people just like you discover their talents. And don't listen to your grandfather – those leather pants did not make you look like a circus sideshow. Not completely, anyway._"

Jason had to laugh at that along with the rest of the family. That was Alan's gift to them all – to make them laugh while they dealt with the ramifications of his passing.

Their lawyer went through all the other items on the list and then proceeded to stock and property holdings and the like. The cranes on the harbor that AJ liked so much were to be sold to the highest bidder with the proceeds donated to AJ's favorite charity, still on the books. A portion of the ELQ shares went to Monica, who also got the house, as if anyone doubted that she already read it. A small portion went to Tracy, along with the beach house on Cape Cod and a boat that apparently held incredible meaning for the two siblings when they were younger. But that still left a lot of Alan's wealth unaccounted for, and it wasn't until the very end that Jason understood where it was going.

"_As for the rest of my holdings and ELQ shares, I want to pass them on to my son, Jason Morgan._"

_SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITJESUSCHRIST._

Jason ignored Tracy and listened on incredulously. Across the room, Luke downed half a glass of scotch in one go.

"_More specifically, I want to leave my remaining holdings to Jason Morgan's children. I know my son loves children, and it's my biggest hope that he has many in his lifetime. Nothing in my life will ever compare to the joy I felt when my sons came into this world, and I despise the thought of Jason never knowing what that feels like. I encourage him to produce heirs – not for the Quartermaines, not for the money I leave to them, but for himself. I know my son is a busy, skilled, and accomplished man. In a moment of arrogance, I can claim that it's one of few things that we have in common. I am a celebrated physician, named the best practitioner in the state for four consecutive years, but my biggest and greatest accomplishment in life was being father to two beautiful sons and two beautiful daughters. Don't do it for me, Jason. Do it for yourself. I know you will always personally provide for your children, and it is my sincerest hope that you let me participate in that as well. All that I have left, I leave to your progeny with all my love._"

Silence.

And then, an explosion of both words and thoughts.

Tracy leapt to her feet with an enraged yell. "That's ridiculous! He's leaving all his money and property to children that haven't even been born yet!"

_SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITALANYOUIDIOTSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!_

His sister also leapt to her feet, but for different reasons. "Jason, that's wonderful!" she cried, throwing her arms around his neck.

_Congratulations! Dad's absolutely right – nothing compares to kids. Hopefully this is just the boost you need to make some of your own._

Even Big Alice was clapping and beaming.

_Good for Doctor Quartermaine. Good for him. If this doesn't send the message loud and clear, I don't know what will._

But before Jason could pause to wonder what that message was, Tracy was on the warpath.

"Am I the _only _one that gets how ridiculous this is?" she demanded as her husband downed more liquor, his only defense mechanism in the face of losing unspeakable amounts of money. "Alan left his money to children that aren't even _born _yet! They don't _exist_! As of this moment, there are no physical benefactors! This can't be legal!"

"Perfectly legal," David interjected in a stuffy voice, a little irritated at having his legal knowledge questioned by a woman who, as far as the esteemed lawyer could tell, had few professional skills of her own except being an unmitigated termagant. "I can assure you of that, Tracy."

But his aunt was still seething. "This is unimaginable," she bellowed, glaring fiercely at the rest of the family for not sharing her sense of righteous fury. "Alan couldn't have been in his right state of mind!"

"How dare you," Emily shot back, and Jason could tell that it was an effort for his sister not to raise her voice. "How dare you insinuate anything like that about Dad. Obviously, _you're _the one not in her right state of mind right now, so maybe you should shut your mouth and cool down before you say something else – something else you may regret."

Tracy wouldn't be dissuaded, and instead kept up her haranguing invective.

_So Alan wants to give all his money to the children of Sam McCall? Over my dead body! That tramp shouldn't be allowed to be ANYONE'S mother, much less the mother of a Quartermaine heir!_

Really, this was getting to be too much. He'd kept his mouth shut the whole time he'd been here, but now was the time to shut down his lunatic aunt once and for all. Just as Jason was about to do so, Tracy's next thoughts left him speechless.

_Jason might be a complete idiot when it comes to Sam's past, but she hasn't snowed me over with her big breasts and vapid sex kitten expressions. After everything she did while being Angela Monroe, she should be rotting in a maximum security penitentiary or being given a lethal injection – not birthing my brother's grandchildren!_

Angela Monroe? What the hell was she talking about?

_If Alan only knew of all the things Sam – or Angela, whatever her real name is – had done in the past, he would never, ever, EVER want her anywhere near the Quartermaine family! Alan forgave a whole lot in his lifetime. He forgave Monica for the affair with Ric, he forgave her for trying to pass AJ off as his while she thought he might be Rick's, he forgave Daddy for all his crap, he forgave Skye for causing Emily's accident and lying about being his daughter…_

_But if he knew what Sam had done, he'd be the first one lobbying for her incarceration. And I'd be right there with him._

Jason swallowed roughly and stared at his aunt, who was still ranting and raving. No – she had to be mistaken. Sam had told him about all the cons she'd run, and some of the fake names she'd used. Sam couldn't have done anything as bad as what Tracy thought. Tracy was wrong – she believed something that was patently false.

_And after everything that Sam-Angela did to those men and those children, anyone with the IQ of a mud puddle would know that the LAST thing a woman like that should be trusted with is a baby. Unthinkable. Oh, God, I'm getting sick just thinking about it. Shit. Okay, just get out of here, sit down, and have some Sprite. Oh, God, I'm going to heave._

"This isn't over," Tracy promised, teetering slightly on her feet as she waved a finger at the family. "Don't think that for a minute. I'm going to contest this will and make sure that this…_atrocity_ never happens!"

And Jason had no choice but to watch as his aunt attempted to storm out of the room – still wobbling slightly and looking a bit green – with her equally tipsy husband two steps behind.

Emily shook her head in disgust and stroked his arm. "Don't listen to her," she advised. "No one's going to let Tracy do anything. Dad wanted you to have this, Jason, and you will. Your children with Sam are always going to be provided for, just like Dad wanted. Don't worry about Tracy, we'll handle her. Nothing's going to stand in the way of Dad's last wishes."

He didn't do anything more than nod. Jason was still preoccupied with Tracy's thoughts and why she had to leave the room so quickly on the alleged peril of illness. "Yeah."

"Emily's absolutely right," Monica replied wearily, her arms still crossed defensively over her chest. This way, she looked even smaller and frailer. "Don't worry about anything. Your children will always have the Quartermaine family behind them, one hundred percent, Jason."

Yeah…except for the fact that Sam couldn't have children.

Jason rubbed the corners of his mouth with his thumb and forefinger, not wanting to divulge that particular bit of information. Instead, he just nodded again. "Yeah."

He couldn't bring himself to reveal the truth on this occasion, so soon after the reading of the will, so he decided to keep it to himself a while longer. "I…I should be going."

Monica nodded. "Of course. I'm sorry I called you over on such short notice. I know you're busy. Thank you for coming. It was…really good to have you here during this."  
_  
It was very good of Alan to include that part in his will. Very good. Oh, Jason, can't you understand now, at least, how much your father loved you? No matter what happens, the Quartermaines will always be your family…even if you don't want us to be. That's just how it works. We'll love you no matter how much you wish we didn't. I guess that's the sad part…for you and for us._

She looked so dejected, standing there in front of him, and for a moment Jason was too shocked to say anything. The news of the will, of Tracy's hopeful deceptions, of whatever this Angela Monroe thing was about, and his mother's thoughts…it was all starting to sink in and he didn't even want to think about what he'd do if he let it.

It was best to get out right now and come back to this later, when he had the luxury of thinking it over. There was just so much going on in his life right now that he felt like he was being pulled in a million directions, and Jason didn't know how much longer he could stand it.

"Thanks for calling me," he found himself saying as he leaned down to give his mother an awkward hug. Monica jumped slightly, then hesitantly wrapped her arms around his neck. He could tell that she didn't want to squeeze too tightly at the risk of scaring him off, and that saddened an old, lost part of him, that she had to think that way still.

"You take care," she smiled tightly when he pulled away. "Where are you off to? Uh – no – forget I asked."

"It's okay," he replied as she blushed at the faux pas. "I was actually going to find Elizabeth. I…juts have to talk to her about a few things."

"Did you try the hospital?" his mother asked instantly. "I think she's working today."

He shook her head. "She took a half day, and she's not answering her phone."

"Try Kelly's if she's not at home," Monica advised. "She likes to go there if she can get a few minutes to herself."

Jason nodded and backed away a step. "I will. I'll…" The words see you later were on the tip of his tongue, but he resisted. "Just…call me if you need anything."

Monica's smile grew, just a little wider and a little more genuine. "Thank you, Jason. I might take you up on that sometime."


	9. I've been numb, I'm revived

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

8 – I've been numb / I'm revived – 8

Jason did just as Monica had suggested and took the shortcut to Kelly's. Since the little diner didn't have its own parking lot, he parked in the lot on Elm Street and took the shortcut by the docks.

It was a nice day, a little cool and a little crisp. The water lapped against the planks as he hurried down the stairs, and seeing it made him think of just how much time he had spent on the docks over the years. Whether it was sitting out under the stars with Elizabeth, having ice cream with Courtney, or taking Sam out on his boat…

He shook his head and pulled his phone out the second he thought he heard it vibrate. It hadn't, but he used the opportunity to call Elizabeth's cell again. And just as he was punching in the speed dial code, he heard another set of footsteps on the docks and looked up just in time to see Helena Cassidine make her way down the stairs. She carefully eased closer to the edge and stood staring out at the water, occasionally glancing at her watch.

Jason frowned and his thumb stilled over the keypad. What the hell was Helena doing out in the middle of the day? Last he heard, sunlight caused her to melt.

_Where is that insufferable Colleen? Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I bother…_

The name sounded familiar, and he eventually remembered that it was the nanny Nikolas and Emily hired to take care of Spencer. With a Cassidine as a dad and _that _first name, the poor kid was doomed from the start. But what was Helena waiting for Colleen for?

Unless…

_She said she would bring baby Stavros to the park at one and then take the short cut along the docks. She should be here by now._

Baby Stavros?

Oh, shit.

_I wouldn't even have to bother with that simpleton girl if Nikolas wasn't such a disappointment. Keeping me from my grandson – naming him that awful name! My darling grandson, you were such a promising child once. You were going to rule our empire. But then you turned your back on it all. Thankfully, I'm here to make sure baby Stavros doesn't repeat his father's mistakes. _

Nikolas and Emily would have to know about this. Deciding that it was time for him to get out of there and make himself useful, Jason stepped out of the shadows. Helena's eyes darted over to him and the old woman snorted and turned back to the water as Jason came down the stairs.

_Jason Morgan. A disappointment to his family, just like my Nikolas is me._

He didn't really care what Helena thought of him, but just as Jason was about to pick up the pace and get out of there, she said something that stopped him in his tracks.

_I bet that if Jason ever had a child – especially a son – Edward Quartermaine wouldn't be above kidnapping the child, either. Baby Stavros would be better off with me, just as I'm sure Edward knows that Baby Morgan – oh, what a detestable though! – would be better off with him and the Quartermaines than that brain-damaged degenerate._  
_  
Sometimes, it's up to the grandparents to do what is best for the child, especially when its parents are so hopelessly misguided…_

Helena glanced casually at Jason.

_…Or just so hopeless in general. Oh, Mister Morgan, let's just hope that no child is ever unfortunate enough to name you as its father._

He had heard all he needed to hear. Jason pocketed his phone and quickly strode away from the decrepit old woman. He took the stairs up three at a time and was soon rounding the corner, safely out of the old hag's sight.

And as soon as he was around the corner, Jason stopped and leaned against the wall. Now he understood part of why the Spencers hated the old woman so much. She didn't even know him – they had never spoken – and her thoughts toward him were still nothing short of vicious. She didn't have a gracious or compassionate bone in her body, and Jason had the distinct feeling that he really shouldn't have been so surprised to hear what she was thinking.

But the thought of kidnapping a child from its father…

He had never been a father in the real sense – and he now knew he never would be, given Sam's condition – but the thought of his hypothetical, non-existent unborn child being torn away from him by someone like Helena or Edward…

Jason closed his eyes and swallowed tightly. He had no problem imagining that as a father, he would do everything in his human power to keep that child with him, damn everything else. A child belonged with his father and his mother, no one else. And if Helena thought that she was going to take Spencer away from Nikolas and Emily, she was dead fucking wrong.

And even as he thought about his nephew-in-law, Jason couldn't help but remember what Helena had said about Edward – how Edward would be licking his chops at the thought of raising the Morgan heir by himself. How Edward would be ready and willing to kidnap the child as soon as he possibly could.

The thought disgusted him. Maybe that was the one good side to not having kids – knowing that they'd never be exploited or poisoned by someone like Edward. It was a tiny victory – negligible, really – but he clung to it anyway.

Jason let out a breath and pushed himself away from the wall. He turned another corner and took the back way over to Kelly's just to be sure that Helena was no longer within earshot.

_"Hello?"_

"Emily, it's me. Is Nikolas around?"

_"Uh, yeah, he's right here. We were just waiting about to go find Colleen and Spencer at the park. What's up?"_

"There's something you have to know. Put it on speaker."

_"…Okay. Go ahead."_

"Get to the park right now – and keep an eye on your son. The nanny's on Helena's payroll."


	10. I hate the world today

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

**9 – I hate the world today – 9**

He had been trying all day – since he discovered his newfound abilities, that is – to find Elizabeth and was not having much luck at all. She'd checked out of the hospital and presumably gone home, except for the fact that Max told him she hadn't returned to the cute little house on Cherry Blossom Lane that she rented and that her son was picked up from daycare by Audrey, meaning that whatever she was doing and wherever she was, Elizabeth wanted some time to herself.

Well, that was too damn bad.

Thanks to his abilities, Jason had learned more about Elizabeth in the past few hours than he'd figured out on his own these past few weeks. Obviously, she needed him. And more important, she needed to tell him something, she needed to talk to him about something. And he wasn't going to give up until he found her and they hashed everything out.

He supposed it was possible that he was cheating with this new skill of his. After all, he'd be able to read Elizabeth's thoughts once they were face to face, but she wouldn't be able to read his. And it wasn't like one could censor one's thoughts; he'd get a clear, unadulterated, entirely genuine look into her mind and heart once they were face to face and started talking.

And whereas Jason honestly would have deliberated over the ethics of such a thing in the past, he found today that he just didn't care. Because he was sick of having half-conversations with her, where he knew that something so profoundly important was lurking under the surface but had been unable to get at it. He was sick of ambiguous remarks and veiled smiles.

Today, one way or another, he'd get to the bottom of it.

He figured that the best place to check, since she wasn't at the hospital or on the docks or at home, was Kelly's. After he broke the news to his sister about Spencer's nanny being in cahoots with Helena, Jason waited around just in case anything happened to Emily's almost-stepchild. Once Nikolas and his men showed up to apprehend Colleen and get Spencer away from her, he was free to leave and so Jason doubled back through the alley around to the main street and headed down the cobbled walk to the diner.

Elizabeth had always loved Kelly's ever since she came to Port Charles. When she was younger, she and Emily used to have cheese fries here after school; just last week, he saw them here eating brownies and drinking milk. Elizabeth always took such good care of herself when she was pregnant.

_What is it with all the women in this town being adulterous whores?_

Jason turned around and spotted Georgie Jones, no longer Hornsby, getting a patron a soda refill. She had been married to his cousin, Dillon, and Jason had heard that the marriage had been rocky even before Dillon slept with Lulu and Georgie demanded a divorce. Obviously, though she seemed to be a very sweet, forgiving girl, she was still bitter. And Jason didn't blame her.

_It must be something in the damn water._

One thing that Jason had learned today, during the short time in which he'd been aware of his abilities, was that women's thoughts were much dirtier than whatever came out of their mouth. So many women that never swore aloud certainly used choice words inside their heads. And Georgie was no exception as she glared at Lulu, who was at present messing up someone's order.

_Honestly, what is it with all the women in this town deciding that it would be a great idea to whore it up and skank this town up? Aren't they thinking of the property values? Won't someone PLEASE think of the property values?!_

Jason moved to the side as she blew past him, huffing her bangs out of her face. There was another girl that was very quiet in person but obviously not so much on the inside.

_I bet I can make a list, too. Let's see, Lulu. Goddamn hussy tramp. Her mother, too, actually. Mom said that she slept with her mother's husband just because she was bored. Too bad that if Lulu used the excuse 'but it runs in the inbred collection of hacks I call a family' on me, it wouldn't wash._

He watched in amazement as she smiled prettily at a customer while thinking all that. Girls must have been specially equipped with some sort of switch that enabled them to look happy and sweet out the outside while they were just seething on the inside. He couldn't decide if that was one of the primary strengths or defects of their kind.

_Carly came into town with the express and singular goal of spreading her legs with Tony. Always the classy one. And of course, that's part of her charm. Oh, that's Carly, she'll sleep with anyone, it's just what she does. Yay, isn't Carly beautiful and smart and strong? We should all be like her and probably catch every venereal disease known to man._

Jason frowned at that but Georgie didn't even notice him.

_Let's see…even my own sister bartered drugs for sex with that putz Lucky. God, what a waste of a man. And somehow she's the only one to get the bad rep for it? He slept with a minor…in his wife's bed! If he loses his family and Elizabeth never gets back with him, it still wouldn't be all that he deserved. Oh, and of course we can't forget Sam. It's so obvious what she's been doing with first Mister Jacks and then Sonny and then Jason. Having that many boyfriends in that short amount of time? How do these idiot men not see it?_

She shook her head while she filled up the sugar shakers.

_They think with their dicks, that's why._

Jason didn't quite like that characterization, for obvious reasons.

_All they see is a pair of boobs and their scepter with the family jewels is raised for the proclamation. All they need are boobs and a look that says, 'get it here.' And the worst part is…_

Her thoughts trailed off as Georgie looked at Lulu, who was breezing past her from the kitchen into the restaurant, humming under her breath.

_…they never have to pay for it. They never have to own up to what they did. Not Carly – she's the town heroine, for crying out loud. Not Laura – she's the beloved matriarch, whatever that's supposed to mean. Not Sam – she's miss Everyday Hero. Everyday Hooker is more like it. She lives off of Jason Morgan, who's too dumb to realize that she's probably just using him, and she contributed nothing until someone came along and practically begged her to do this TV show job. Useless, useless women._

"Mike." She undid her apron and folded it, placing it under the counter. "My shift's over. I'm out for the day."

"Have a great day, hon," came the reply from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I bet," Georgie growled, stalking past Jason on her way out of the diner. He let her go without a second glance, careful to keep to himself, and tried not to puzzle over her words.

She was wrong about Sam. She knew nothing about her. Sure, Sam's romantic entanglements with Jax and Sonny had been complicated, but she wasn't using him. And he honestly didn't mind that she spent her days in his home – in their home – and didn't work. It didn't bother him. If anything, she was actually safer if she spent all day in front of the television instead of out and about, so things worked out.

He had just finished convincing himself of this when Lulu spotted him and walked over.

"Hey, Jason." She flipped her bangs out of her face. "Can I get you something? Coffee?"

"Coffee," he nodded. "Black, no sugar."

"Be right back." She went over to the counter, filled him up a paper cup of freshly brewed coffee, sealed the lid in place, and returned. "Here you go. You paying for that now?"

"Just put it on my tab."

"Gotcha."

"Also…" He started to tug on his ear, then remembered what Alexis said about that making him look like a child. "Have you seen Elizabeth around?"

Lulu blinked. "Elizabeth?"

_You mean my stupid whore of a sister-in-law who lied to me about being pregnant when I was going through the same thing? That heinous bitch?_

Jason gritted his teeth, trying not to let his anger flare up so she could see. "Yeah, Elizabeth."

"Not today. Not here."

Damn it.

"But my shift just started, so she might have been in here earlier, getting something to go."  
_  
God knows she's always here with Emily or Cam, drinking all that milk. Way to flaunt a pregnancy, guzzling down a gallon of milk in front of everyone. Tacky. Thank God that's not me, some mindless frump schlepping around two kids that do nothing but drain all the energy out of me, with no life of my own to speak of._

_Thank freaking God._

Jason rolled his eyes as he turned to leave. "Yeah. Thanks. I'll find her myself."

_You would, he heard her think as he pushed the door open, coffee in hand. You've never been able to let Elizabeth go. _

« _Last Edit:_ Aug 10, 2008, 10:46pm by Solo Ensemble »


	11. I do not feel ashamed

Note – This is very, VERY loosely based on the Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt movie, "What Women Want," in which Gibson's character

**What Women Want**

**10 – I do not feel ashamed – 10 **

In the courtyard outside Kelly's, he'd been accosted first by Anna Devane and then Lainey Winters.

Anna had been feeling a little glum and was wondering, as she grew older and watched her adult daughter settle down with the man that could very well one day produce grandchildren for her, if she still had what made her a top agent for the World Security Bureau.

Jason got an idea of just how quickly the older woman's mind worked when she spotted him leaving Kelly's and in about 0.2 seconds decided that she'd try to pinch his wallet just to see if she still had it in her. The fact that he could read her thoughts was the only thing that saved him from embarrassment, and when Anna 'accidentally' bumped into him, he caught her wandering hand just one second before she found his wallet.

Anna grumbled something uncomplimentary under her breath and stalked away, but Jason knew that he had risen in her esteem just a little.

Lainey was reading a psychiatry journal at one of the tables outside and said hello, and Jason could tell from _her _thoughts that this woman didn't want to pick his pocket, she wanted to pick his brain. Before Lainey could ask any probing questions that would have given her a better look at his psyche – whatever the hell that meant – Jason curtly excused himself and walked away.

He'd checked almost all of Elizabeth's favorite hangouts in Port Charles and hadn't been able to find her, but he wasn't about to give up. Things were always so touch-and-go as far as the two of them were concerned and he was not at all above using his new abilities to _finally _have what might be their first open, explicit conversation in months. Since they slept together, really.

And this time, he knew that he wouldn't walk away until he knew exactly where he stood with Elizabeth, once and for all.

Well, it stood to reason that once he knew where he stood and if his standing was at all favorable, he _wouldn't_ walk away, but Jason wasn't one to quibble with semantics.

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, trying not to think about what his newfound resolve meant for his relationship with Sam, and headed toward the park. Elizabeth liked to go there sometimes or just cut through it, and since she wasn't anywhere else, he had a good enough chance of running into her there.

There seemed to be something going on in the park, he saw as he drew closer. There were a couple of white vans parked by the gates, and there were people running around with buckets and files and perfectly cut vegetables.

Ah, he knew what was going on. He knew even before he slipped past the security guards that Amelia and Sam were filming an episode of Everyday Heroes and were using the park as an on-site location. Sure enough, as he turned the corner, there was Sam in a pair of black leggings and a low-cut tunic top, flipping through the script as Amelia talked to her producer.

They signaled the crew and called out to Sam, who quickly put down her water bottle and script and headed over to her mark. The sound guys scurried out of the way and lifted the boom mics, the director called out for quiet, and they were filming.

"Every year, anywhere from three to five thousand children are kidnapped by strangers in the state of New York alone," Sam started, speaking clearly and legibly and unlike how she usually spoke at home. "Five children were kidnapped last year from this very park that I'm standing in right now in Port Charles, New York."

Amelia was nodding along with each word, keeping time with Sam, and Jason stood off to the side and watched, not wanting to disturb them in any way.

"It is an appalling statistic, and I couldn't in good conscience let the opportunity of hosting a show like Everyday Heroes pass me by without making every effort to help all the innocent children out there."

_Bitch, please._

Jason blinked and looked over at the tall redhead smiling pleasantly at Sam. That was Amelia's voice.

_You want to help innocent children? Your hypocrisy is enough to make me vomit._

He had no idea what she meant by that and kept listening. Sam, on the other end of the camera, kept talking.

"We as Americans cannot allow these predators and criminals to take our children away from us."

_You've done a fair share of that yourself, haven't you, slut?_

Jason was watching Amelia carefully from the sidelines as she tore at his girlfriend and was able to see the corner of her mouth curl downward acerbically even as she pretended to smile with her eyes. What the hell was she talking about? She couldn't be talking about Sam – there had to be something he wasn't getting here, some sort of misunderstanding.

_How you can stand there in front of the camera and spout off the lines that Cal wrote, all about children being innocent and how we have to protect them because it's our moral duty, after what you did?_

Jason frowned. What did Sam do?  
_  
After you tricked almost a dozen men, men just like my father, and aborted their children._

He sucked in a quick breath. No. No – he had to have heard wrong. He heard wrong.

_After you intentionally got pregnant with their children, had them paying to support you and the child, and then aborted and pretended to miscarry so they wouldn't cut you off cold._

It was like being sucker-punched in the gut. Jason leaned back, out of breath, careful now more than ever to stay hidden, out of sight as Sam recited those perfectly constructed lines.

"Children are our future, and we here at Everyday Heroes are committed to making sure they stay safe and sound with the ones they love."

_You despicable, scheming whore._

Amelia flashed her a thumbs up sign when Sam broke for an emphatic pause before launching into the segue way.

_You thought you were so smart, didn't you? You thought that no one would find out. Well, you didn't think about Old Bill's daughter, did you, Angela Monroe?_

The name was said with such perfect vehemence, and Jason could only assume it was one of Sam's aliases. One that he and Sonny had somehow not been able to dig up.

_Sam McCall. Angela Monroe. Olivia Cornwell. Laci Jenkins. Heidi Banks. You've got quite a resume there, you skank._

Okay, so maybe there were a couple of aliases he and Sonny had been unable to dig up.

Jason was still reeling from the discovery, still trying to figure out whether it was real or not, but Amelia was unaware of this and didn't give him a second to catch his breath.

_Your next mark was Sonny Corinthos. I've met the man, I'm not surprised. He's exactly the sort. The bumbling, pseudo-important, can't-keep-it-in-his-pants guy that would be all too willing to conceive your love child out of wedlock. Too bad for you that his wife wasn't willing to let his cheating ass off the hook that easily. She really fucked up your plans, didn't she? _

Amelia shook her head, the movement almost imperceptible but to Jason's watchful gaze.

_So you found Jason Morgan. I wasn't expecting that. But it worked out so well for you, didn't it? You couldn't believe how good you had it. There you were, all ready to call it a bust and abort the baby because your latest gold-digging scheme didn't work, and there was this handsome, rich, gallant guy who wouldn't let you do it. And you thought, wow, I actually found a putz that's willing to love another man's child as his own._

Her smile grew as she watched Sam talk to the camera, but it wasn't the warm, happy kind of smile.

_And you figured that he was the kind of guy who not only would raise another man's bastard child with you, the mistress, but would want to have children of his own with you. Oh, you couldn't have found a better idiot, an obscenely rich guy who couldn't find a use for his own balls and would happily sign them over to you. That was all you ever wanted._

He was going to be sick. Jason had absolutely no doubt that he was going to be sick, right here, all over these bushes.

_But your plan didn't work out so well, did it, Sam? Angela? You lost the brat. Your uterus broke, over-used organ that it was. And now that you don't have a fucking prayer of having a baby, it's all you want. How ironic. How poetic. How fucking just._

"Always keep your child in your direct line of view. Don't ever let him or her out of your sight, because all it takes is one second, and they're gone."

_I would almost feel bad for your sugar daddy, but he brought it all on himself with his stupidity. Pity, because he's a nice guy. The last sort you'd ever be able to snare if he knew your true colors. He wants to have a baby with your rent-by-the-minute ass, doesn't he, Angela? Well, that's never going to happen, is it? Karma's a bitch, but we love her for it._

"Just one second, one second and one bad choice and that's all it takes. They're gone."

_And you tell yourself you're okay with it. You try like hell to get Jason in your bed and squeeze one last breath out of that abused womb, praying to every higher power out there that this time it'll stick, and you swear that you'll actually keep it, but deep down inside, you know it's a lost cause. So you tell yourself that it's all right. You have Jason. And you know he'll never cut you out of his life – or his bank account – because of the child you two lost together. You'll have his money for the rest of your life. And it doesn't matter that you don't have any children or any real friends, because you have Jason's money and his penthouse and this show, and you think you have a friend in me._

Amelia prowled closer as she watched and as he watched her, pointing the toe of her blood red pointed shoes right at Sam, and folded her arms tightly over her chest.

_But I'm going to take you down, Angela. My father found out that you were planning to abort his child and when he tried to stop you, when he tried to save an innocent life, you killed him. You killed him in cold blood and made up a story about how he was alcoholic and abusive and a cheater. You were the first woman he dated after my mother died twenty years ago, and he only drank one glass of wine a week with dinner and he never, ever raised his hand against a woman. You ruined his reputation, you ruined his life when he was in his grave. And I will take you down for it. I will show the world that you're the real abuser, of men and money, that you're the real cheater, that you're the real killer. And I'm going to do it on this show, and when I pull out all the proof I have of what you did, not even that idiot Jason Morgan will stand by you._

"And that's a wrap. Great job, Sam."

"Yeah, great job," Amelia beamed, walking forward to take Sam's hand. "You were perfect. Nailed it as usual."

"Ms. Joffe? Phone call for you."

"Whoops. Hang on a sec, okay? Take a breather, I'll be right back." Jason watched Amelia smile broadly at Sam before she hurried away to where her assistant was standing.

His girlfriend remained by the camera, looking visibly troubled.

"Just one second, one second and one bad choice and that's all it takes. They're gone."

One of the crew members was watching her repeat the line and frowned. "You all right, Ms. McCall?"

Jason watched Sam force a smile, and felt nothing.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…thinking."

"Heavy subject matter today," the guy agreed. "No one ever wants to think about innocent children getting hurt."

Sam shook her head slowly. "No. Not at all."

_Oh, God. All those children…_

He watched her close her eyes and rub a hand over her forehead, and Jason knew before she even thought it.

_All those babies I could have had…_

_All those children I…got rid of._

Bile rose at the back of his throat, an instinct so powerful he thought he was going to wretch right there, and Jason quickly turned on his heel. He had to get away from here, he had to put as much distance between himself and Amelia, between himself and the park, between…

…Himself and Sam.

* * *

_At the overlook…_

Jason gripped the stone ledge as hard as he could, figuring it was the only way to keep himself in the present, to keep himself there.

The news about Sam had been…devastating.

He'd already called Stan, knowing that Spinelli would be useless in this situation. His roommate wore blinders as far as Sam was concerned, and Stan was the one for the job. He'd given him the aliases he remembered Amelia listing and told him to get on it. He'd just gotten the first call about Angela Monroe and it checked out, just as Amelia said.

Twenty-four year old woman, married to a man almost thirty years her senior. While she was pregnant with his child, her husband came at her in an alcoholic rage and she shot and killed him in self-defense. The ordeal was so traumatic that she miscarried their child and left the town, never to be heard from again.

Poor fucking Angela Monroe.

He couldn't look at her again. He knew he couldn't. He couldn't look at her without hearing Amelia's words, without thinking of all those babies, without knowing that he and Sonny were just marks on her list and she was only in it for the money. That she effectively _traded children for money. _

Oh, God, he was going to be sick again.

His phone rang again.

He didn't bother to pick it up.

It rang a couple times in the course of the next ten minutes, and then he felt it buzz, indicating that he had a text message.

_Checked out O. Cornwell. Young mother miscarried her child and abandoned her husband. Filed for divorce three months later. L. Jenkins, same thing. Who are these chicks?_

It was Stan, and he hadn't told him anything that Jason didn't already know.

Amelia was right. Amelia was right about everything, and he never would have known if not for his abilities. He would have been as shocked as anyone else when he watched the live episode of Everyday Heroes in which Amelia purportedly planned to destroy Sam. He knew her plans, he knew exactly what she was going to do to Sam…and he was going to let her.

He wasn't going to say a word or lift a finger to save Sam. He was going to call the guards and have all of her things moved out of the penthouse. He was going to have her banned from the premises. He was going to tell Sonny the truth. It would ruin Amelia's plans and she deserved closure, but he hoped she'd be able to glean some sense of justice from the ordeal when Sam was prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. She'd have to.

Jason's mind was still spinning with possible courses of action – he wasn't above thinking of other ways to dispose of Sam – and he didn't hear the sound of soft footsteps up the walkway. He wouldn't have even noticed Elizabeth had she not hesitantly placed her hand on his arm.

"Hey." She smiled, and it was lop-sided and unsure. "I didn't think I'd run into you here."

Jason pushed himself away from the ledge and turned, slowly. He didn't say anything, and he belatedly realized that this flustered Elizabeth.

She hurriedly tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear, her eyes darting this way and that. "Actually, uh, I'm glad I found you. I've been looking for you all day, it was like you just disappeared."

He almost managed a smile.

"I know it probably feels that I've been following you around all over the place, and I'm sorry about that," Elizabeth continued quickly, "like I'm stalking you or something."

"You-" Jason shook his head. "You're not-"

"But I just feel – I just feel like…like we don't get to see each other very much, just the two of us." She was wringing her fingers together, looking nervous. "And I just – things feel kind of weird right now, and I just – Jason, I really needed to see you. I really need to talk to you."

He was gazing down into her eyes, not at all affected by how flustered she was or how quickly she was talking. That was the strangest thing about Elizabeth, that even when she was nervous or uneasy or excited, she had an almost unsettling way of calming him down.

Slowly, clarity – or some semblance of it – began to return and Jason blinked, aware that he was supposed to say something as she looked expectantly up at him.

"I've been trying to find you, too," he admitted.

She bit her lower lip. "And here we are."

"Here we are."

Elizabeth sucked in a deep breath, looking as if she really wanted to say something, and Jason belatedly remembered his new abilities. "Jason, I need to tell you something. It's about…"

Almost unconsciously, her hands drifted to her midsection and Jason's eyes widened.

"The baby?" He instinctively took a step closer. "Everything's okay with you and the baby, right?"

She nodded jerkily. "Yeah. That's, uh, that's actually kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I – I really need to tell you something."

She kept saying that but it was obvious that it was difficult for her to get the words out. So Jason cheated and got just one step ahead of her, and was not at all prepared for what he heard next.

_This baby is ours._

His lips parted. "This baby is ours."

Elizabeth gaped up at him and finally began to nod, wondering how on earth he could have guessed that from the look in her eyes alone. "Yeah."


	12. Angel Undercover

Author's Note – So glad this story is done

**Author's Note – **So glad this story is done. Thank you all for the wonderful feedback. I probably would have never completed this fic, but I didn't dare do that because a lot of people felt very strongly about it. Glad this proved to be a fun, random, silly story for all. And most of all, I'm glad to have one more completed work under the belt! Woo-hoo!

**Note – **This chapter is kind of PG-13ish. And just like how this story was campy fun, the epilogue is campy as well. I make no bones about it. It's the campness.

**What Women Want**

**Epilogue**

**When you hurt, when you suffer / I'm your angel undercover –**

_With the passing of time…_

"This baby is ours."

Their lives had changed instantly and dramatically with those four words.

They were the four words Jason had longed to hear right after the paternity test, without even knowing that he longed for any such thing. With those four words came the greatest happiness he had ever known, and those words marked a brand new beginning for both him_ and_ Elizabeth.

She confessed that the main reason she hadn't told him was that she was too afraid. Jason had been angry at first, and their early conversations about the baby had been strained, not from any lack of affection or joy on his part but because he couldn't stop thinking about everything he'd already missed out on, and what he would have done differently if Elizabeth let him know the truth as soon as she found out.

The first person he told about the baby had been Spinelli. The boy vowed to keep it a secret for as long as Jason needed him to and, remarkably enough, did just that. And it was through Spinelli's gentle prodding and explaining that Jason got over whatever resentment he felt, and the next time he spoke to Elizabeth, he made her cry when he apologized. She kept saying that he didn't need to apologize for how he felt, that it was only natural that he would be upset, and that he didn't do anything wrong, but Jason didn't agree.

After all the time they'd already lost, he didn't want anything else standing in their way.

Once he and Elizabeth resolved all that, Jason set about trying to convince her to move in with him. She was reluctant, and understandably so. He didn't much feel like talking about his relationship with Sam, or explaining why she had disappeared and why there was a warrant out for her arrest (a useless warrant, since the government would never be able to find her anyway), but Jason broke his own rules and divulged enough to let her know that he was done with Sam and would never, ever go back to her. Ever.

(Not that it was possible without violating the social and moral code against necrophilia, but still.)

When Elizabeth proved stubborn, Jason did something he wasn't proud of and resorted to the business. He explained to her more candidly than he would have otherwise just how dangerous his world was, and he succeeded in convincing her that her charming little house on Cherry Blossom Lane was not at all suitable and would not protect her or her children from the realities of his life. He hated that he had to scare her, but when it came to protecting his own, Jason realized that there were few rules he wouldn't be willing to break.

Thankfully, he didn't have to talk long and within a couple of days, Elizabeth was able to tie up all loose ends and move herself, Cameron, and the baby into his penthouse. Jason had Milo get a team together to pack up all of Elizabeth's stuff, and some of it came to the penthouse with her and the rest was put in storage, the keys turned over immediately to the nurse.

The move had been difficult for Cameron. He was still a baby himself and used to sleeping with his mother in the same room, as his crib had always been next to her bed. The penthouse was big and bright and there were scary men in suits everywhere, and it was difficult for him to adjust.

Spinelli, who had accepted Jason's offer to remain in the guest bedroom, really came in handy helping Jason get the little guy to feel at home. When Jason and Elizabeth were scheduling Elizabeth's next appointment with Kelly, Spinelli convinced them to go at a later hour and leave him at home with Cameron.

When the big night came, he rented a bunch of movies that were popular with children Cameron's age, ordered pizza, made sure that the kitchen was fully stocked with all the necessary (and unnecessary) ingredients for kick-ass ice cream sundaes, and promptly instructed Cameron to pull on his footsie pajamas as soon as Jason and Elizabeth were gone.

When they got home a while later, there was an empty box of pizza and two empty dishes of ice cream on the table, and Cameron was sitting on Spinelli's lap as they watched _Finding Nemo. _The plan backfired, however, because Cameron was too wired to sleep. Spinelli begged off, saying he had an early class, and Elizabeth was in no shape to chase her toddler son around, so Jason stayed up half the night, trying to get Cameron to go to sleep, and Elizabeth came down the next morning to find them both sprawled out on the recliner.

Cameron was a bit more comfortable around Jason after that, and didn't even put up a fuss when Elizabeth left him alone with the enforcer. The last bit of resistance between them broke down one night when Cameron had a nightmare. Jason heard him yelling and ran into his room, and then promptly picked him up and brought him back to the room he shared with Elizabeth. Once he realized that this new man in his life wasn't trying to come between him and his mother, Cameron relaxed and finally acted at home in the penthouse.

Elizabeth was a little more difficult to win over. He could handle winning over a three year old, just not his ex-girlfriend who was currently pregnant with his child.

Jason could tell that Elizabeth was still walking on eggshells. She never talked about it, never said anything about it, but it was there all the same. She always kept her things strictly in her side of the closet, her drawers in the bureau, never left anything out and about where it might mix with his things. She always cleaned up after Cameron and put everything away. She always left the room immediately whenever Max or Milo or the other guards entered. When Cameron was sick, she stayed in his room so that Jason wouldn't be disturbed. She apologized over and over for things he never would have noticed, and she always tried to help out around the place as if she was trying to earn her keep.

They hadn't had sex once since she moved in. Well, actually, they had, but it was on a technicality.

They were sitting together on the couch after Cameron had gone to bed, and Spinelli was out god-knew-where doing god-knew-what, so they had the place to themselves for the first time in…ever. She was half in his lap and he had his hand on her protruding belly and they were talking, and one thing led to another and before long, they were making out. And then Elizabeth said something – he couldn't remember what, he could only remember that it excited him – and they next thing he knew, he was tugging at her pants and she was pulling on his shirt. He had a finger inside of her before she could yank his t-shirt off, and Jason was altogether unprepared for how fast or hard she came.

He hadn't wanted to risk anything, what with the baby and how spent Elizabeth seemed, so he just carried her up to their bed and fell asleep with her in his arms. She was awkward about the following morning and they didn't speak of it for a day or two, when he realized that she was probably reticent because she assumed that he wasn't into it or that she was embarrassed by her own conduct, and once he set her straight, most of the unease bled away. They didn't broach the subject – or the act – again, but at least Elizabeth knew his feelings on the matter, how he didn't regret anything he'd done with her, ever, or how amazingly beautiful he thought she was.

She, in turn, had assured him that he wasn't once at risk of harming the baby and wouldn't have been even if they carried on further, and that, in addition to that, women often had the best sex of their lives while they were pregnant. And then Elizabeth had blushed fiercely and made up something about hearing Cameron calling for her.

The rest of the people that frequented Harborview Towers made Elizabeth feel at home, and Jason was grateful for that. The guards all addressed her as "Ms. Webber" and made sure she and Cameron had everything she needed, and the doormen and lobby men knew her by name. Sonny had exceeded expectations and kept to his own business, but he did go out of his way to keep Carly from showing up unannounced at Penthouse 2 and harassing Elizabeth. When Jason brought it up, Sonny sheepishly admitted that he knew Carly could be a handful and he didn't want her to run Elizabeth out of his life again. Not when the two of them had so much at stake in their new family.

The people of Port Charles were less accommodating, but Jason did his best to make up for that. The nurses all gossiped about the newest paternity developments, and the Spencers had been up in arms about it from the start, even seeking legal counsel in Alexis (who immediately turned them down just because she was sympathetic to single mothers since she herself was one) to see if there was anything to be done.

To guard against this, Jason tried to be with Elizabeth when they were out in public. He couldn't be with her when she was at work, obviously, but as she grew further and further along, Kelly Lee recommended that she take time off what with her high blood pressure. Jason immediately assured Elizabeth that there was no reason she couldn't quit altogether if that was what she wanted.

She was quiet about it at first but one night, Elizabeth admitted that she was seriously considering not going back to work. She wanted to be able to stay home with her children, a luxury that she hadn't been able to afford when Cameron was a baby. She was lucky back then that Audrey would watch him during her shifts; she wouldn't be so fortunate now because she and Audrey hadn't spoken since the news about the baby broke.

Jason had known it was a tense, crucial conversation, so he slowly told her that he would support anything she did and, honestly, he liked the idea of her being at home with Cameron and the baby until things were settled. He had been waiting for an outburst, for Elizabeth to take something he said and misunderstand it, leading to all sorts of drama, and had been beyond relieved when she nodded and smiled back, a genuine smile that let him know they were actually on the same page.

The whole time that she was pregnant, they called the baby simply "the baby." He didn't want to be the one to broach the subject of names, and as he would learn later, neither did Elizabeth. Both of them assumed that it would come up naturally between them, but it never did.

Until now.

"It's a girl!" Spinelli was hopping up and down, unable to contain his excitement. "I can't believe it! Where is she?"

"In the nursery," Jason said, leaning back against the wall because he honestly felt just a little bit light-headed, but it was a good, fuzzy kind of feeling. "They're just – cleaning her up, taking care of her, and then they'll bring her in so we can see her."

"How's the Maternal One?"

"Sleeping a couple minutes ago when I checked on her."

"You should go back in with her," Spinelli instructed, actually grabbing his arm and tugging him back toward the room. "You don't want her to wake up alone. I'll call Mister Corinthos Sir and let him know. He and the Peanut will be stoked."

"Tell him not to try to drive down in this rain," Jason added, letting himself be shoved toward the door. "I know him, he'll want to come down with Cameron and see her. Tell him to stay at the penthouse and not risk the weather."

"Will do." Spinelli shifted his weight from foot to foot as Jason stepped into the room and prepared to shut the door. "Stone Cold?"

"Yeah?"

"Congrats." Quick as a flash, he hopped forward and gave Jason a hug, withdrawing before the enforcer had realized what was going on. "You'll be a wonderful father. Well, you already_ are_ a father to the Peanut, but you know what I mean."

"Thanks, Spinelli."

"And one more thing?"

He glanced impatiently toward Elizabeth, who was finally starting to come to. "What?"

"What are you going to name our little bundle of pink joy?"

Jason wasn't sure how he felt about Spinelli referring to the baby as 'ours.' "Uh…I don't know."

"Stone Cold." The boy arched a brow and settled a hand on his shoulder, as if he was explaining something to a very small child. "Babies need names. It's the law."

Jason smacked his hand away. "I know that. We just…haven't picked one yet."

He was staring at him now. "You haven't _picked_ one yet?"

"…No."

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Spinelli reached for the handle and yanked at it. "Go, go. Talk to the Maternal One. Figure something out. Honestly, Stone Cold, if the Jackal doesn't stay on top of you, you never get anything done…"

Jason rolled his eyes as the door clicked shut and turned toward Elizabeth. She was awake now and smiling at him, and it was infection. He grinned and slowly eased down next to her, taking her hand and brushing her hair out of her face.

"Hey."

"Hi." She glanced around the room. "Where's the baby?"

"With the nurses," Jason replied. "They'll bring her to us real soon."

Elizabeth's eyes lit up. "Her?"

He nodded proudly. "We have a girl."

"A little girl," she sighed happily, before the corner of her mouth curved down. "A little girl with no name."

Jason laughed. "Yeah, Spinelli thought that you and I should talk about that. Apparently, it's the law that all babies have to have names."

"Good law," Elizabeth nodded sagely, playing along. "Sound public policy."

"So…" He tugged at his ear, all jokes forgotten. "How do we do this?"

She grinned sheepishly. "Can I tell you the name I picked out?"

Jason had to laugh at that. "You have a name picked out? How long?"

"Since almost the beginning," Elizabeth cringed, still grinning. "Since we found out it was a girl, I mean. Not since – not since _the_ beginning."

He knew what she meant and didn't want to remember the initial circumstances, including her marriage to Lucky, either. "What is it?"

"Juliet…Emily…Morgan." She played with his fingers as she ticked off each word, then looked up expectantly. "What do you think? I know Juliet is kind of…well, I think it's a pretty name, and it goes really nicely with Emily, and Jason, _no_ name goes nicely with Emily, it took me forever to find Juliet, and I know some people will say that it's old and antiquated but I love it, and I-"

"I love it, too," he interrupted softly, giving her hand a squeeze. "…Emily will, too."

Elizabeth laughed. "Yeah, she'll be thrilled. I did tell her that I wanted to name my first daughter after her, though, so she'll see it coming."

"Juliet Emily Morgan." Jason leaned back, still holding her hand, and grinned. "Spinelli will be relieved."

"That we didn't pick something like Brunilda or Hortense?"

"That we even picked a name at all." He sighed and folded his arms over the bed and lightly trailed his lips over her knuckles. "…Elizabeth, I need to tell you something."

"That if the baby was a boy, you had promised to name him after Spinelli and you're so glad that the extra X chromosome came into play?"

"I'm serious."

"I know," she murmured, lightly trailing her thumb over his lower lip. "I was trying to lighten the mood. You look so…tense all of a sudden."

"Not tense," he disagreed, "just serious."

"All right, just serious." Elizabeth raised the bed just a little so that they were more even. "What is it?"

"Elizabeth, I'm in love with you."

She was silent for such a long time that he wondered if he should repeat it, and then her lips relaxed into a hesitant, lop-sided smile. "You don't have to say that, you know."

Jason looked down at their joined hands. "I wanted to say it a long time ago," he confessed. "I just didn't think you did."

"Didn't think I loved you?"

"Didn't think you wanted me to say it."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment, and then her smile grew. "I do, though."

"Want me to say it?"

Elizabeth's eyes shined. "Love you."

"Oh."

There didn't seem to be anything else that needed to be said (especially since he read her thoughts and knew she was sincere), so Jason stayed quiet and kissed the pad of her fingers, one after the other, happy to just bask in the incredible peace that came with finally just getting all that out in the open.

A gentle knock came at the door, and both Elizabeth and Jason looked over as a nurse wheeled in their daughter. Elizabeth gasped in delight, and Jason was already on his feet. The nurse flashed them a smile and, saying that she'd be back in a bit, left them alone with the newly named Juliet Morgan.

"Oh, Jason." He could see the tears in her eyes as she gazed at her child. "Bring her over here."

He was already leaning over the wheeled cradle, securing one hand under her head and wrapping the other around her small body. Jason lifted her easily, smiling when she snuffled and tried to open her eyes, watched in fascination as she worked her little mouth, opening it and shutting it with little humming sighs.

"Juliet Emily Morgan," he murmured, pausing to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I've waited so long to meet you."

The baby snuffled, and it sounded like a snort, and then opened her eyes and looked directly at him as he began to pass her to Elizabeth.

_Jeez, took you long enough._

Jason froze.

Oh, shit.

**The Freaking End. **

Post Note: Told you it was campy.


End file.
